Friday, November 7, 2008

Conversing With Myself -IV

Musing of a parent


Children are bundle of joys. I tell myself when in one of the better moods watching my children laugh and play. Children are bunch of nuisance. I tell myself watching them play and laugh, when in one of that dreadful foul mood and am looking for excuse for that foul mood.
These are the momentary response at the spur of moment of a parent.
But children are children and are inscrutable in their loveliness and mischief. They never fail to lift my spirit from the darkest of that occasional emotional turbulence that each of us have to pass through from time to time. The innosence in their mischief, and that irresistably rascal mischief in their mirth are the shades of life which brings rapturous joys to the parents. In their laughter and their mischief, in the sparkle of their eyes and rankling sweet voice of their laughter are sown seeds of sense of accomplishment, the desire to be best in the world, the wilful readiness to sacrifice everything to keep that innocent face smiling and mischievous and to let that free spirit soar to the limitless sky. The magic and miracle happen with every step the children take. They are the apple of their parents and their loveliness pales all other beautiful things put together in the wide wide word.

To the children, parents are the whole world and to the parents, the whole world has come wrapped in a bundle in the shape of their children.

..................................

With age comes wisdom tinged with cynism and doubt. I ask my self whether with passage of time, will we continue to bask in the unconditional love we share now, will their spirit continue to soar on the wings of our hope, will their zeal continue to glaze with the power of our prayer.

Then my cynism self tells me, once I was also a darling of my parents and basked under their unconditional love. What are you to your parents now. What is your present equation with them. Dark clouds of doubt sets in.

My wisdom self comes to my rescue and in its soothing words whispers, " Enjoy your day while the sun shines, look at the clear blue sky and fill yourself with peace and immensity it bestows, not at the whip of dark cloud somewhere in the corner of far away sky. Once you were a child sporting as gaily as your children, and now you are a parent, proud and anxious as your parents were, and soon you will be a grand parent enjoying the evening of your life. Soon your children will will play their part as life metaphores from one role to another role."

"Ah ! yes ," I tell myself.

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Musing of an aging parent. So says sulu to himself.

Cyber Wisdom

While going through my drawer, I found my old pocket diary where these words of cyber wisdom was jotted down. I dont remember from where I collected it. I am writing down these words of wisdom for my own benefit for reminding me whenever I surf my blog and also for each of you who care for such words of wisdom to give direction to their life ......

1. Never think or speak negatively about yourself that puts you in disagreement with God.

2. Meditate on your God given strengths and learn to encourage yourself for much of the time nobody else will.

3. Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You are unique, one kind of an original. So, dont settle for being a copy.

4. Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you.

5. Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.

6. Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.

7. Learn to Handle criticism. Let it develop you, instead of discourage you.

8. Determine your own worth instead of letting others determine it for you. They will short change you.

9. Keep your shortcoming in perspective, you are still a work in progress.

10. Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God who lives in you.

The last line reads like this :-

"Instead of focussing on what you have not got, focus on what you have and appreciate that. You need to appreciate what you got before you can focus on getting more."


May be added by me, I dont remember now.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Of envious Gods and an angel called Nanu

She was simply my Nanu, chirpy, pretty and a wonderful person to be around with. She was close to my heart not only because we had same blood running in our vein, but because of the unique affability that existed between us. I dont remember how or when I first met her, but being the darling of my aunt and uncle among the bunch of their wonderful children, there was no mistaking on her popularity among the extended family. I can still see her showing me her picture in a dance pose decked in a velvety dress. She must have been in standard one or two.


Fastforward ten years later.

She had appeared for her matric exam and was getting ready for NERIST entrance exam. I often visited her house ( naturally whenever I needed something from my aunt or uncle ... being a truant youngman) during those days. Whenever I came, she would be the first to come out and greet me and tell all about her dreams and plans as wont a young girl of 15 would and elicit a promise from me to visit her regularly incase she makes it to NERIST. I would, I promised, for upteemth time. Fate had something else for her, and NERIST simply vanished from our horizon.

In a short while, I started courting her aunt and Nanu became my willing accomplice in wooeing my fiance . Her aunt became my better half with passage of time, and we became closer as a family.

Meanwhile, I had joined civil service, and was posted in Gauhaty. Once again Nanu and I were involved in trying to build her dream into reality as she came down to Gauhaty for various entrance exams. She had all the stuff to be a succesfull candidate for either medical or engineering college. But, what did we know fate had something else for her and she would straddle across the country like a free bird.

She joined Delhi university. She would make a stopover at my place at Gauhaty whenever she passed through. After graduation she joined TISS, Mumbai to finish her PG. I was tied up with my career and she after her profession. Still we kept in touch through phone and she was all gong ho about her studies and her future dreams.

I went to Afghanistan for two years and she joined an NGO. Whenever, I called her up, she would elicit promise from me to visit her in Mumbai. I would, I promised once again for umpteemth time, but could never make good my promise.

Last summer, I met her for a very brief moment at Itanagar. In that brief moment, she told me all about her dreams once again. She had dreams, beautiful dreams of world filled with beautiful people which she enjoyed and shared. She, always a child at heart whenever she met me, saw me as a means to weave and chase her seamless dreams.

How did we know she had roused the envy of Gods and angels by her lively nature and beautiful being, that they would pluck her in the prime of her youth. Before she could spread her wings to realise her earthly dreams, they took her to be with them in the heaven above.

On 31st October'2008, while we mortals waited for her to spread her wings and take to the sky to fulfill her dreams, GODS in the heaven quitely stole her from us.

O heavenly spirits, I do not have any ill will towards you for snatching her from amongst us, but I pray thee, that she may remain as free and happy in your paradise as she was here. And that she glide in the valleys, soar into the sky, hop from flower to flower as her spirit flows. Let her spirit remain unfettered under your safe guidance, Good Lord. May she continue to bring warmth of a winter sun and gentle breeze of summer evenings in heaven as on earth.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

AN UNCLE REMEMBERS


When you left...............................

I always knew you were an angel. And now you have gone to be with your own folks. Angel you were, but with a difference .. for


You left .... the shadow of your being in the sunlit path of my life forever,

Youleftyour mirthfull laughter which would shame the songs of rivulets meandering and spiralling down the hill,

You left your sparkling eye, filled with mischiefs that would shame the fawns sporting in a meadow,

You left your angelic smile all scaterred, and never cared to gather it before you left for your heavenly abode,

You left so many things half done, were you in a hurry?


************
Good Angel

Even so, you are in a fairy land now,

Be ever as happy as you were,

Among the fairies, dancing from flower to flower

Suckling the honey that nourishes your eternal being

Here, your AKU prays for your soul and spirit,

Knowing full well, you are the one who need no prayers,

For you, yourself are the prayer

The Good angel !

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The Old Fool


This old fool will,
At times be emotional,
Eyes will become misty.

Excuse him.

And if you happen to pass by in your angelic way,
Dont be startled by,
The drop of tears,
From Old fool's eyes.

Excuse him.

If you happen to fly by with your fairy friends,
And peek through the window,
And see this Old Fools lips,
Mumbling,
Just skip through,
For this Old Fool,
Asks his Lord,
Why pluck the flower before it blooms,
Before it yields to ,
the caress of the winds,
songs of the bees,
dance of the butterflies,
sweetness of the water,
warmth of the spring sun.
The freshness of dews still on its petals,
You took her away.
Is it because, you were jealous,
Of the beauty of your own creation?
Tell your fairy friends,
This is your own foolish AKU SULU,
In his own foolish way,
Conversing with Lord.

Excuse him

And as you fly away once again,

Into your heavenly abode,

Look back once again,

But think no more,

Of your Foolish Aku Sulu,

For emotions are preserves of we mortals.

Adieu Adieu