Life's little sweet songs.

What is living life of truth.......

2010-12-12T17:39:00.002+05:30

Living a life of truth to me is living a life where lying and deception lives side by side with honesty and uprightness. The TRUTH is in accepting both shades of life as essential part of our day today living. Always telling the truth is neither warranted, nor desired just as lying and deceptions are not warranted all the time. Both sides are used and should be used to deal with situation of life in a judicious manner for the good of humanity and the world.

It is important that truth be told and telling lies be refrained from. But what is more important is the manner of telling the truth or lies. Truth told with malice is no worse than lies that brings enemity and mistrust. Infact, truth with malice hurts more than anything else.

Truth told to save a person's life or for the goodness of humanity is as divine as lies told to prevent the inevitable misery, harm or destruction caused by the evil forces.

Truth, should not be spoken for truth's sake only, but for the beauty and love that truth brings. If truth is designed to bring misery and mistrust, then cast away the truth. Lying should be avoided not only for the sake of untruth in it, but for the strife and distrusts it brings.

In our day today life ... if the question of whether to tell the truth or untruth comes up face to face, then please use all your mental faculty to ask yourself its intention, whether what you say is intended to bring happiness or sorrow, whether it is intended to bring bring misery or smiles, whether it is intended to prevent the evil or to cause the evil to take it's course. The divinity or devilry is not in truth or untruth itself, but in the purpose of saying these words of truth and untruth.

I keep meeting people who says they never tell lies, but I am yet to meet a person who have always spoken the truth. The moments of lies and truth are as true as day following night and night following the day. It is not within human capacity to prevent these two aspects..... but it is very much within human capacity to decide when to say what and for what purpose. So, let your purpose be always for good of youself and for humanity.

Thus Sulu muses.

NB. What I write is not intended to preach, or for someone to follow it. What I muse is only intended for my self, my inner conversation spoken out on FB so that I can have other's view on the matter. Each of us have rite to have our view of life. So please feel free to express your ideas as you think.

Riding along the curves of life ....................

2010-12-07T10:10:00.000+05:30

One of the reason why my love affair with life continues to be a hair raising and tantalising romance is simply because of its sinuous curves daring me to explore her, find out the surprises it has. In youth, life seemed to be one straight line aligned to my wish and whims. As age, family and career catches up with me, it becomes a maze, a puzzle where one has to negotiate many turns. It was in the begining of this life that I commented like this ..
" My life is a series of compromises. I start with some ideas, some thoughts and ambitions ... but on every step in life, I keep negotiating with twists and turns of life and striking compromises so as to move ahead," I told my friends when I settled down in adult life with family and a job. All of them laughed at me. Today, after 13-14 years, with sheepish smile they say,"How right you were." Thus Sulu muses.
Many comments have come on my FB wall writings and as this is close to my heart, I decided to share it with my friends by taging them.I am reproducing some of them below:-
Aparajita Mohapatra:- Nopes.... Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise...especially wt urself..hey, U r all u have! but dats just IMOH pl..:)
Meghli Mishra .... In the decisions of life, what should rule?Passion, or reason?It is a known fact that through-out life compromises must be made. But when does the compromising go too far?When you sacrifice friends for family?Excitement for security?...How many flaws will one overlook for the one she loves?When does compromising become settling? At what point do you realize you’ve sacrificed too much?Why do we find that we are the ones compromising the most?Why do we consider it the norm?We convince ourselves that no one is perfect and that we are not the exception to the rule. Then we are left with the endless emptiness, knowing ( deep down) that we want to be the exception.We want to find that person which suits us in almost every way, but we are socially obligated to settle. To demand the best in a life partner is selfish and unrealistic. I wish I knew why.Why can’t we find that perfect person?Why must we compromise? We are both passion and reason.Why must we suffer this intolerable emptiness and constant pressure of self-doubt?We can’t live life as we are? A fusion of heart, mind, body and soul.Damn these cross-roads.Damn these decisions.Damn you compromise.
Nabam Serbang:- Wonderfull thought Dani. I guess compromise is quality of intellect not a dictator. People can make compromise only if he can weigh either side. This weighing needs trained mind, broad view, an informed mind and a human hearth. I think what we can guard while compromising is "never loose on what is right no matter what cost".
Sulu continues to muse this way ...... " Every twist is made up of turns, and those who cant align with the life's paths are destined to fret and fury for not having blessed with a straight life. If there is no more turns in the twists of life, it either means your life has become straight or it has ceased to exist.
Every great river reaches its destination only after taking twists and turns on its great journey. It meanders through its paths where it can, but when faced with rocks and mountains, it takes it's time and at first opporunity it takes detours. It doesnt sit fretting over not having his way laid straight, but explores the ways and means to flow ahead to join the great ocean. All the great roads runing across the country joins great distances and places. Its greatness is in not saying,'' My way ahead is blocked, I will stop my journey here.'' It compromises with the terrains of lands by twisting and turning where it cannot remain straight.

This is reflected in our professional and family lives as well. Many times in my professional life,I come with great plans to show my seniors in my work place. Many a times, it is ridiculed and put aside. But on every set back I recieve in my career, I cant quiet or wish away my seniors. I realise I too must have been same to my juniors at times. At home, my children are not always wat I want them to be, and since I love them, I have to compromise on many of my expectations from them. I know,they also compromise on many expectations they have from their parents, just as I had to with my parents. No man has ever achieved anything worthwhile without any major sacrifices.These sacrifices are nothing but compromises. You decide on points where you dont want to compromise, and to honour that decision, you compromise on many other aspects of life.
My friends, just as there cannot be any twists without turns, there cannot be any life without compromises. Better decide on what aspects of life you want to compromise and on waht aspects of life you do not want to compromise. To stand by the decissions you have made and chase the goals you have set, you will have to compromise those aspects of life which are of lesser priority to you.

"If there are rocks and hills on the course of rivers,
It is for the river to find out the weak spots,
It is for the river to find the valleys and gorges to make its way ahead.
Hills and rocks are not to be blamed, rivers have ot negotiate wit...h its pride in taking the bends.
It there are walls and mountains on the path of the wind,
It is for the wind to find holes and crevices,
And space to move on.
Walls and mountains are not to be blamed.
If there are problems and difficulties in life,
Men and women have to find its solution,
Many a cups of whipped up ego and pride have to be swallowed,
To move ahead in life,
Towards the greater goals of life which we have set for ourselves."
Thus Sulu muses.

N.B :- This is reproduction of discussion already goin on my FB wall. I have taken the liberty to reproduce comments of Meghli Mishra, Nabam Serbang and Aparjita as I found them to give directions to the discussion. This is not to say that other commentators... like Anindita, Jarpum, Tagiya comments were of lesser

Perhaps, our fear of death is not from death itself or it's cause, but lack of faith in the process of life.

2010-11-23T21:03:00.001+05:30

In whose hand your life is ........

It is true that our life is never so helplessly in someonelses mercy as is in the hands of our barber as his knife runs down from our chin to our neck, passing through that life line called jugular vein.
Last Sunday, even as I was having my hair cut, this thought coursed through my mind.Though this is the eternal fact, and our life depends on that thin sharp edge of our barber not cutting through those delicate jugular veins, we dont feel the fear that is so associated with our death passing through that delicate edge.
I think it is because we are conditioned to have blind faith on our barber, that he shall never let such accident happen.This makes Sulu think that, perhaps,our fear of death is not from death itself or it's cause, but lack of faith in the process of life. Thus Sulu muses.

In search of heaven on earth .................

2010-10-18T22:49:00.000+05:30

In search of heaven on earth …

Most of us have heard about heaven within and around us … but where exactly it is located in us and around has been a difficult task to say the least…

The discussion on trying to locate heaven on earth, heaven in our own backyard and search for heaven within our own daily life between Jenifer Ferris, Roto Chobin, Jarjum Ete and myself was an off shoot of my wall post …

“ Time to change kahawat 'Jiski lathi uski bhains .. To .. 'Jiski dimag uski duniya.' God endowed everyone of us with some special mental faculty. Our aim should be to discover our speciality and build our own special universe based on it. So Sulu muses.”

On this, our discussion started with Jeniffer’s comment as given below :

Jennifer Ferris : “I agree absolutely.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Do you have any thoughts on how to discover? “

Jennifer Ferris: “ To me, that is the ultimate "heaven" concept, as it is heaven on earth, while we are alive to enjoy it as I believe we are meant to.”

Dani Sulu: “This is what sulu tells himself. I am not others. I am what God wanted me to be. And then, I ask GOD what is it that he wants out of me for the moment, for the day and for the life.”

.Dani Sulu: “Yes, I agree with you. I can build my own heaven and hell here on earth ...itself. God gave us this life and wanted us to build as per our own liking and our own ability. So Sulu thinks.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I agree. But how does one build one's heaven if one lives moment to moment, as I would also agree is correct? There is no future thought there. So there must not be any concept of one's own personal heaven, either? Continue talking abou...t this with me, you're one of my brilliant friends and this is something I particularly struggle with. I feel as though my spiritual beliefs conflict with day to day reality and struggles. Want to integrate them. Agree on heaven on earth as the right view. But how to seek when seeking is not the spiritually correct thing to do, as seeking implies not only future, but preconditioned thinking, as well? ”

Dani Sulu: “ Ok. Let us set certain premise before we go farther. What you and me are saying are our own personal views and for our own personal consumption. If we pick up threads from each other, then it is on our own volition. … AND I BELIEVE IF THERE IS... NO FRICTION THERE NEITHER IS ANY SHINE. I expect to have some opposite views. ”

Dani Sulu: “ Present cannot be dissociated from future, nor future fly off on its own.”

Dani Sulu: “ Every moment we live is a foundation brick, building my past life, present life and future life ... my holistic self.

Jennifer Ferris: “ Really? I present my views, and if people don't like them they can go to hell :) LOL! I feel no friction toward your views so far. If I ever do I will certainly let you know if it does not offend you to hear them (as it does some people).”

Dani Sulu: “ My present should be enjoyed and lived to its full, without compromising with my future. Nor thought of our future, subsume our present. So Sulu thinks.”

Jennifer Ferris : “ I'm like you, I welcome argument and differing viewpoints. Gives me the opportunity to expand my own point of view.
I would not say that present and future are dissociated in any way. I would say that we do not know what future may hold,... so any attempt to bring toward ourselves that which we feel we desire may be misguided.”

.Dani Sulu: “ No, I like friction and if there is no friction, I am almost sure there is some problem, some witholding. With something not forthcoming and hidden, there cant be any enlightened discussion. Friction, questioning attitude and inquisitivenes...s makes us move ahead spiritually, intellectually, scientifically, and materially. It is the way to harmony with self and the nature. So Sulu thinks.”

Dani Sulu : “Ok. Let me put it this way.”

Jennifer Ferris: “What if you happen to come across someone whose views are remarkably similar to your own? I guess we could argue for the fun of it :)”

Dani Sulu: “Yes. But my nature will make me verify nature of our harmonious discussion. The purpose of nature is to let us strive towards harmony. But human as we are, we just think we are in harmony, without being in harmony.”

Dani Sulu: “ Ok. We can come back to our topic. I keep jumping off it.”

Dani Sulu: “ One's day today life need not conflict with our spiritual belief. What I do now is what my life is. It presents me my present life, it affects my future life and it is a process of accepting my past. We may not realise it, but whatever we do is our spiritual pursuit in one way or the other. So Sulu thinks.”

Dani Sulu: “ It sounds too beaten a road .... but it is true that the moments we live are strings of beads that makes the necklace of our life. What type of beads we pick up is entirely our own choice. So Sulu thinks. ”

Jennifer Ferris: “ ….. ‎"We may not realise it, but whatever we do is our spiritual pursuit in one way or the other" - this I wholeheartedly agree with. But my day to day reality is needing to support three children, mostly on my own. Feed, clothe and shelter. ... I do not feel that real estate is my spiritual calling, however it fills a need at this time. What is my calling? No idea. Ought I think about it, wonder about it, muse about it to myself? Or ought I live moment to moment, day to day, year to year in something which I spiritually know is not where I was intended to be and simply be happy with each moment and trust that that which I was intended for will come to me without thought, without seeking?”

Dani Sulu: “ I cant agree the less with you. To engage our self in trying to bring up our children in the best possible manner is our best spiritual pursuit for the moment. It is following God's instruction for us.
Each of us taking care of our selves and our family, each of us being responsible to our own physical and emotional needs without compromising with others life is the highest level of spiritual life.”

Dani Sulu: “I believe our spiritual liberation is not in any monastery, or church, or temple or in any form of worldly renounciation. ...Our spiritual liberation is is in taking the daily needs of our body, our emotion, our spiritual necessity, needs of our family and society head on. Su Sulu muses.”

Dani Sulu: “ We are made of this world. We are made for this world. Having lived this world as per God's design, our Good lord will take care of us in the next world.
It is for us mortals to question and live this world, and not be bothered about the wo...rld we do not know i.e next world.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ So you are saying that the existence I have at this moment is heaven? Because it sure doesn't feel like it. If I truly loved my work, I could agree. But this world I am in, although pretty much free of suffering, is not ideal or fulfilli...ng in ways that heaven would be. Heaven would include fulfilling work, if work were necessary or desired. Engaging myself in bringing up the children in the best possible manner is my number one priority. But it comes at the sacrifice of doing something I would truly love to do and that would be fulfilling to me.”

Jarjum Ete: “ hmmmm .... Hi, Jennifer !!! You both have something quite deep going on here......very interesting, indeed.”

Jarjum Ete: “Sulu, without diluting your discussions, let me start at the beginning....
What sort of special universe ? ............as part of a larger galaxy ?.........or a universe unto itself ?”

Dani Sulu: “ Jarjum mem... When I say building special universe of our own liking, I mean to say that each of us can build a world of our own .. without giving in to despair because of our seemingly disadvantageous position. .. e.g A child may not have sporty cars ... like merce … etc. But when he plays with pebbles and stones immitating it as race cars ... he is as happy and excited as any race driver in a grand prix.

...When we were growing up, we used to tie the plastics lying around with ropes and played football in the village streets .. it was as enjoyable and exciting as any super soccer league.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Dani, I'm not in the least bit worried about the next world. Could not care less. Hello Jarjum :). Dani, I believe fully in heaven on earth. Why do I not yet have it, is what I want to know. Ought I seek it? Makes no sense. Ought I wait? Is there any other option? I am a little impatient by nature, so that may be part of my difficulty.”

Dani Sulu: “ ‎ Jeniff.... Heaven isnt someplace where we cant reach. It is within our reach. We just need to dig a little deeper. We may perhaps start listing what are the things we really want to do, and what are things that are limiting us. Sitting infront of mirror, looking into my own eyes and also into my own soul... asking myself what is it that I want to do ... will reveal me the truth of what I really care for..”

Jarjum Ete: “ ‎...........patience, someone said, is actually the indecisiveness of the fools, misunderstood as a virtue..... so, on that count, Jennifer, impatience is the propelling virtue.... !!!! lolssssssss....”

Jennifer Ferris : “ Jarjum I tend to agree. I feel that if God did not wish me to be impatient at the age of 40, I would not be! That is another of my struggles which coincides with my concern that perhaps I ought keep my mouth shut on occasion :) Both things I probably should totally accept and think nothing further about. I am a thinker though, and always desire to perfect things, and my own behaviour is not exempt :)”

Jarjum Ete: “ Let me try it another way.....with a focus on a value system (which determines the quality of life's building blocks), living each moment and each day, without losing sight of life's goal (of building a world of one's choice, which you both seem to call as the heaven of your choice ???) .... using the tools of sincerity, love, empathy, peace, curiosity.... you may have it.....”

Dani Sulu: ‎" ….. … “Dani, I believe fully in heaven on earth. Why do I not yet have it, is what I want to know. Ought I seek it? Makes no sense. Ought I wait? Is there any other option? I am a little impatient by nature, so that may be part of my difficulty...." Let me comment on this …
No seeker shall find the heaven on earth. Peek into yourself you will find it. It is here and in this moment. Even the time we are inter- acting is a part of heavenly process on earth if we realize it. I will not change eternity of heavenly bliss for the moments of sweetness and sourness that my life provides me with. I like to ride the twists and turns, ups and downs of life, and my nirvana is when I am able to align my life as per the shape of the life. Family is not restricting. Those who have realised herself, have achieved what they wanted inspite of all the seemingly time dragging responsibilities.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Oh, I agree, moment to moment life is the same heaven I refer to. Nothing everlasting, no promises, no rewards etc. Just moment to moment happiness and fulfillment. I do believe that meaningful work is a part of that heaven, but perhaps I am wrong.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Perhaps I only need to shift focus. It does seem more ideal, though, and I am an ideal thinker, for meaningful work to be a part of the picture.”

Dani Sulu: ‎ “ Jarjum Mem, I like your take. Jeniffer... It is in nature to seek perfection, but it is not in nature that we all be perfect. Nor do we need to fight what is natural to us. If there are moments of impatient ... so be it. I am sure there ...are moments where we all show patience as well. So Sulu muses.

Dani Sulu: “ Living with our wrong and our right is our life. No great men or women were without these attributes. So Sulu muses.

Jennifer Ferris: “ Jarjum, I would say it's attainable, but that calls into question future thought and future desire, which personally I do not spiritually embrace. Thus my conflict between the now and the heaven I perceive.”
Roto Chobin: “ by "special universe", i infer an ideal society. Since everyone implore for ideal world while making others life hell, so I guess God gave us a bit too much - brains, of course.”

Dani Sulu: “ Having a safety net is always safer. But when we look for safety net in every endeavour, it comes with something dark lurking beyond our every vision. If we are looking at our future see it straight. If we sit back and think and doubt about our future plan .. and also doubt that our desire in future might change, we have already limited ourselves. Having set our goals, what comes in future needs to be met with in future not in the present.”

Jarjum Ete : “ ‎.....the heaven you desire to attain is the ultimate....right ? if yes, that also means that your thoughts encompass the future ... right ? if yes, I don't see any conflict......”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I don't really see how you can live in each moment fully but have future desire and future thought at the same time. If thoughts are real (as I believe them to be), then wishing for something which you do not have is a projection in a direction which is quite possibly not your intended spiritual growth route. Seems unwise.”

Dani Sulu: “ Heaven is desired. May be in future. Does it have a meeting point.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ So, Dani, you feel that future goals are important? ”

Dani Sulu: Jenn

Jennifer Ferris: “Heaven could be (and I think should be) now.”

Dani Sulu: “ yes”

Dani Sulu: “ I am coming to it.....”

Dani Sulu: “ Future goal is very important ....”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Jarjum, my thoughts don't encompass the future. I am not a planner, never have been. I see my reality, today, and see how it could be better. My struggle is a spiritual one, because I do feel that "better" will come to me, when the time is ripe. I want to make it happen. I am impatient. One could call it a lack of faith. But when there are children to feed it becomes more urgent.”

Roto Chobin: “ The existence of Heaven or Hell is not proven. As a common man, I am experiencing the best of the both world right here in Earth. I couldn't ask for more.
Dani Sulu: Our life is not tied to the moment. Our moment is lived as a stepping stone to our future hopes. The joy of the moment is joy of doing the job in the hand well, having placed another brick firm and perfect in its place even as we build on our future hope.”

Jarjum Ete: “ Well, very frankly, am not at all religious nor anywhere near spirituality..... so, guess, this subject is beyond my grasp......lolss..... but, in a very common sensical way, I see no conflict in living the heaven on earth each day (if one ...is adhered to some tenets and values....like....love, humanity, peace )... and let it grow on life..........block by block, every day, every moment..... at the end of the day... you have the heaven of your choice...here and now.... no waiting.... no planning.......no manipulations...... just living it..... and I find a single minded pursuit of spiritualism per se is also not really necessary if one has imbibed the basic values of love and peace... and integrated the same into one's day to day life and actions..

Dani Sulu: “ ‎@Jeniff "I am not a planner, never have been. I see my reality, today, and see how it could be better. My struggle is a spiritual one, because I do feel that "better" will come to me, when the time is ripe. I want to make it happen. I am... impatient. One could call it a lack of faith. But when there are children to feed it becomes more urgent."

I love the way you place life as practical as it is lived. But the heaven, to me will not come like a present on Christmas day on platter. Nor will any nirvana come in a flash of a light where we will continue to stay. It doesnt appear wise to be looking for a plateau where our journey will end or a meadow where everything is happiness and blissfull only. ”

.Jarjum Ete: “ And, Sulu, to go back to your initial post........ jiski dimaag uski duniyaa will perhaps have two connotations.... one, you create a make-believe world of your own....live in a mental cocoon.... two, use your intellect to such an extent that you run the world in your own way........ what did you have in mind ??? lolsss....”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I embrace love, humanity and peace. But still, there are three children to support whom cannot live on those words :) I must work. My question, my struggle, is work related, not life related. I want work, also, to fit in with my already... realized heaven of having 3 beautiful healthy children who are happy and do not suffer. Going back to Dani's original thought of building our own special universe, my question remains the same. I certainly can take advantage of opportunities which present themselves, and would. But searching, seeking, goes against that which I feel to be true and right. All we need is here, now. In my opinion. Maybe Dani is right though, maybe goals are key. I appreciate the new perspective.”

Dani Sulu: “ I meant, using one's intellect and brain, one can carve out a universe of his own from the present life, from wherever he is and from which ever position he is.
A right thinking man knows that a deprived men or society by greater might or mind of the present will rise again and take to vengeance much more than the crime perperated on them. So, he will use his mind to contribute and derive the riches of life.
Thinking men also knows that no man can live in isolation. So he will be open to the world and its idiosyncries, and take it along his stride.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I'm not looking for a plateau or an end to a journey. I'm looking to integrate my worklife into my spiritual life. Has not happened as of yet. My dilemma is wether or not to seek that happening or simply stay in each moment and see what comes about. That is all.”

Roto Chobin: “ …By the way, why did God plant "the tree of knowledge" in the middle of garden, knowing (since he is omnipotent/ omnipresent) that we humans are going to eat it, which will make us brainier.”

Dani Sulu: “ Jeniff ..... That is a difficult question. Although I believe in aligning myself to the contours of life even while having a greater goal of life.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Jarjum, I don't feel there is anything at all wrong with creating (or manipulating) one's own environment for happiness (heaven). In fact I think that's extremely wise.”

Dani Sulu: “ Deriving spiritual enlightening is somewhat like running a kite .. One needs to run the kite against the wind, but very often let the kite fly along the wind. It is accomodating draughts of wind that makes kite fly higher. One cant pull kites higher just by sheer force alone. So Sulu muses.”

Dani Sulu: “ Yes it is wise. You need to create your own world without compromising with others life. This is the wisdom.”

Dani Sulu: “ It was God's explicit desire that we have our brains and use it. I have a feeling he wanted us to test him.”

Roto Chobin: “ Knowing that it'll make us a barbaric. It is like ignoring your own child committing a wrongdoing.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Roto, that whole apple thing is total bs. Don't even think about it lol.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Dani, I don't get the feeling that god wants to be challenged, but do get the feeling that god is probably pleased when we do so. My question remains unanswered :( To purposefully create or to not purposefully create, that is the question.... Dani I gather your vote is yes. I'm unconvinced. Look at all of the major spiritual teachings... do any of them teach having goals or ultimate outcomes? Not that I know of. They teach acceptance, observation and being present in the now, appreciation for the now, and if anything NOT planning for the future! Lol!. ”

Dani Sulu: “ Can I have your question in three sentnence. It might help me clear my own cobwebs.”

Roto Chobin: ‎” Jennifer, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiment. I didn't intend to. Y'know, curiosity.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Oh, Roto, you didn't hurt me in the slightest sweetheart, don't be alarmed :) I had similar questions myself about 15 years ago.”

Dani Sulu: ‎” Jeniff, Yes All the spiritual teachings teach ... having goals or ultimate goals. Some for nirvana, some to head to heaven, some set their goal as ultimate liberation from life's difficulties. But all these have a major flaw. And that is … preaching resistance against what is natural to human.”

Dani Sulu: Above is for @Jeniff

Dani Sulu: “ From each spiritual teaching pick up what is practrical to me, and discard the rest. To be a prisoner of any set pattern of preaching will suffocate the very spirit which set out to search its own goal.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I've seen your earlier post regarding teachings which are anti-sexuality, etc. and am totally with you. We have been created (assuming we were intentionally created) with physical bodies which respond to pleasure. Even if we were not intentionally created, that remains a fact :) Enjoy it responsibly, in my opinion.... do not use it to harm others or in ways that will harm others. Aside from that, rock on. My heart does not embrace any teaching which is future reward oriented. I believe those to be false teachings.”

Dani Sulu: “ What do you mean by future reward .... future within our own life time or beyond our life?”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Regarding your last comment "pick up what is practical" etc.... that's completely what I do. I have not yet found any spiritual teaching which said "plan for the future" that I was able to feel was true. But maybe having thoughtful goals has it's place. Not sure. “

Dani Sulu: ‎”Jeniff, to the point of being curt may I ask you what do you mean by future ... within or beyond ... present life?”

Dani Sulu: “ I will rather say I do not agree with them( your preachers) than saying what they say is false.

Jennifer Ferris: “ Future being either within our lifetime or afterward. I do not believe in doing anything with hopes of future reward. Makes it a false action. One should only do things with pure heart, unobstructed or influenced by what the final result may be. In my opinion.”

Dani Sulu: “ I think future is very important and we should not keep it out of our sight. I mean future within our life time. I have four kids and am expecting fifth. Now I want them to have good food so that they have good health now and in times to come, I love them in a healthy way so that they grow up to have a healthy emotion, I care for them not only because they are my children, but more so because they learn to care for others. Their future is inexplicable part of my present activity. The important thing is not to let the present subsume my future, nor worry for future subsume my present.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ You may take the route of saying you do not agree with a teaching... I am bold and if I feel something to be false I will state that. There are some things which simply are false. For example, the belief of most Christians that I will for...ever burn in fiery hell as a result of not embracing their savior... a topic which came up on my page recently. I could be sweet and nice and say "I don't agree" but the fact of the matter is that I think they're all f*ing crazy to believe in such a horrible thing. Which was what I said, on my public page.”

Dani Sulu: “ Instead of using the word purity of heart, Sulu might use purity of dedication.... or else it opens up to many inter pretation.”

Dani Sulu: “ I like it. I like when sparks fly in discussions and thoughts cross swords.”

Dani Sulu: “ My grammer and spelling keeps slipping off my hand. Please bear with it.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I think your stance of balance is a good one, and one which will benefit me. Perhaps there is no black or white, no right or wrong, no this or that. Perhaps it is about balance.”

Roto Chobin: “ Future is bleak as i gather. Past was extremely wild and rough. Present is what we should all concentrate to as Present itself is a big "PRESENT". ”

Dani Sulu: “ Not in balance itself, for none can have perfect balance. The pursuit of it ... the joy is in journey .. in adjusting to new challenges ...”

Dani Sulu: “ Anu Chobin... What we live is not for the moment, for it shall pass away even as we blink... it is for the life after blink. Enjoying the present as building block without compromising with your fututre is the life. So Sulu thinks.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Dani, hm.... that kind of lends itself to my live in the present moment fully beliefs. Being flexible, taking what comes and making the best of it. “

Roto Chobin: ‎” Sulu,I agree with you. We are here for some purpose. However, take the canal for example, we need to see that it is not clogged or else the water will not pass through and then stagnant, which implies that we have to make way for future.”

Dani Sulu: “ Setting new goals, may be as innocuous as organising next birthday of my kid, and then adapting to small challenges that come by as a result of my birth day plan is the healthy ingredients of a healthy spiritual life. Not in renunciation of the world and hiding away in some hermitage in mountain.”

Dani Sulu: “ But present should not limit our future. A healthy adjustment is needed.”

Roto Chobin: “ Adaptation is another name of human being. In everyday's life, we are asked to make an adjustment without looking at the current problem and solving it. In the long run, we face a greater predicament. Hence, in my opinion, Present do limit our future and has to.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ In my view, it's impossible for present to limit future. My question is more of whether or not to attempt to perceive future at all beyond whether or not what we personally are doing is helpful or harmful in general or specific.”

Dani Sulu: “ Present will limit our future, if we do not live with our eyes open and mental faculty functioning. In other words, If we live a conscious and conscientious present, it will be a bridge to our future life...”

Dani Sulu: “ Future needs to be percieved and kept in perspective way ... but not in a childish way of expecting miraculous results like ... opening of heaven's door suddenly just because you have closed your eye s and prayed for it.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Makes sense, Dani. I'm off to bed :) “

Dani Sulu: “ Gud nite..”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Yeah, I don't hold any belief in prayer at all.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Good night, and thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate them very much :)”

Roto Chobin: “ It was nice to be in all your midst. Great chatting with you all.”

Dani Sulu: “Yes. I enjoyed each and every point you all made.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ You too, Roto... hope you sleep well :)”

Dani Sulu: “ Its morning here, Jenny.”

Roto Chobin: ‎”jennifer, It's 11a.m. in Ziro, Arunachal, India.”

Dani Sulu: “ Pray, for prayers may not be answered by God, but it certainly helps in bringing out the best in us, as they say.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ I was kind of wondering if you had slept at all this evening lol! i apologize if I've kept you up :) Almost 1 am here :)”

Roto Chobin: “ bye everyone for now.”

Jennifer Ferris: “ To me, prayer equates to thought and hope (which is generally a selfish wish or desire). However: though and hope can be powerfully good things :)”

Dani Sulu: “ To be selfish is glorious and natural, to be self sacrificing is painfull. Each needs to help themselves and ask for help when we cant handle ourselves.To be selfish is as natural as being selfless. Unless you are not asking other's wife or husband in your prayer, and what you are asking is from your life and God alone, enjoy being selfish in your prayer.”

Jarjum Ete: “ Oh, I see a very intense interaction here this morning..........A sunday morning spent on worthy thoughts.........though I really don't see why we have to keep scratching our brains when we know in our hearts and minds what our souls deserve and need........ lolsssssssssssss..........Good day, Sulu and Chobin !!! Good night, Jennifer !!!!!”

Jennifer Ferris: “ Dani, agree entirely on selfishness as long as it doesn't mean purposely hurting others for the sake of hurting. Jarjum, I think it's kind of a personality thing. It's fun to bounce ideas off of others and often leads to gaining a new perspective that is often helpful. And who knows, maybe someone will read the conversation and get something out of it, themselves. Discussing can have many benefits :) I do like your impulse to simply go with the heart and leave it at that, though :)”

This was an impromptu chat trying to locate the heaven that is lying around us undiscovered. Some spellings and some grammar have been edited.

Leading a happy and natural life ......

2010-10-02T20:26:00.001+05:30

" Food shall not be eaten for sake of its taste, Sex shall not be indulged in for sake of pleasure and Money shall not be earned for sake of power it gives. This is the way to lead happy and natural life." Sulu recieves this sms from his friend, reads it and thinks otherwise.

Sulu thinks way to natural and happy life is by relishing the taste thatfood gives,enjoying the pleasure that sex gives , and enjoying the power that money gives.

Sulu justifies his thought by thinking :-

"Lord in all his sagacity thought that, Men, lazy as they are, will not survive and starve to extinction without the intense desire to satisy its taste buds. Nature provided us concept of taste, and this lure of taste ensured our survival. This was his way of tending to survival of his favourite child. And then, what is more relishing than the after feeling of a sumptuos food.

" Lord in his wisdom thought that, Men, selfish as they are, will not take to procreation but for the intense sexual desire that will drag him to act of procreation. It was nature's intention that we enjoy our sexuality. It was His Way of prolonging his act of creation. After all, what gives better sense of pleasure than the after glow of a fufilling sex!!

Lord, in all his discerning way thought, that, without the desire to succeed and pride in sense of accomplishment, men will remain stagnent in its life like any other animal. It was desire for better material comforts in life that drove the men to present level of civilisation. Bestowing sense of desire to acquire more wealth was nature's way of ensuring our continuous progress. After all, what gives us more sense of accomplishment than being able to dispense our wealth and power to the people whom we feel are in in such need."

Further Sulu thinks:-
" Nature wasnt interested in creating machine men, a robot devoid of tantalising aspect of human frailty. He believed in creating a spiced up life by blessing us with such attributes as sex, emotion and ambition. Desire for sexual fulfilment, desire to satisfy one's taste bud, and men's aspiration to live better are the ignition point for spurts in human progress.

Living a natural and fulfilling life is living according to nature's provision. Living by what men thinks nature wants us to live is open to debate because what he thinks is what he thinks according to the contours of his thought not along the curves and lines that nature provided us with. The only restricting factor in exercising our natural attributes is resisting excess and remaining moderate."

Sulu tells himself, " Dont resist what nature desires of you. Resist only the excesses which are not natural. Enjoy life as nature provided us with, and not as per men thinks how nature wants us to live. Billion men will have billion thoughts, and we cant live according to everyones thoughts."

Sulu wonders whether to send his friend his thought or not .. to send or not ..... to send or not and sleeps off.

Why Sulu thinks Mahatma Gandhi is Mahatma ...... The Great Soul..

2010-10-02T09:29:00.005+05:30

Sulu reads works of and on Mahatma Gandhi and thinks, "Mahatma is great not because he gave us freedom, freedom in any case, would have come. Not because he preached and followed non violence, for his non violence caused lots of suffering to himself and others and any form of suffering is no non-violence. Not because he had a right vision for india, for if his vision of India was followed in ditto, India would have remained vastly agrarian and rural. Not because he gave us one india, for the birth of Pakistan was based on fear of many of his thoughts and practices. Not because he was a responsible and caring individual, for he was neither an ideal parent nor an ideal husband. Not because he took to Brahamacharya, because preaching against sex is preaching against what is natural to man. Not because he lived in poverty, for, as Smt. Sarojini Naidu said it neede lots of money to keep Gandhi in poverty/maintain his utopian lifestyle.

Sulu thinks Mahatma is great because he is symbol of triumph of human spirit over all odds. The symbol of ultimate victory of self belief and self respect. He was a living example to demonstrate that satisfaction and comfort of life need not necessarily come from rich life, but from where one puts his soul in. Mahatma's greatness is in his imperfection, acceptence of it and living with it without compromising with greater goals of life.
Mahatma Gandhi was great, because, with sincerity and dedication to his belief, he was beacon of hope to millions of Indians, those teeming million souls, who for centuries trembled at the sign of authority. His greatness came from the fact that he lit lamps of HOPE in millions of heart that was in dark. After all, whether hope transforms to reality or not, WE THRIVE AND LIVE ON HOPE .

Sulu, with his own idea, pays his homage to Mahatma Gandhi, the Great Soul.

Of Messiahs, Preachers and their followers....

2010-08-25T18:28:00.001+05:30

Duel in my mind about moral preachers ...

Sitting whole day with my plastered leg, having nothing else to do in physical terms, I start stoking my mental faculty. As it would happen, my mind went into bipolar mode and two shades of my mental faculty started mental duel. One took the high seat of protagonist and other, the belligrant seat of antagonist.

The antagonist self as usual started thinking loud, " Preachers of morality sow more seeds of hypocrisy which is root of all strife, than moral values in the society. These preachers groom societies who start judging themselves by the moral ideals preached to them, and judge others by their actions. That is actions and behaviours which are natural to human being and which, these same moralistic people practice day in and out. But no, they dont judge themselves on their action, but through the colours of moral values which have been taught to them, and which to consternation of everyone, they believe they are leaving"

My protagonist self starts gently as usual and thinks back, "Preachers are the heart and soul of society. They are the spiritual guardians of the people and they preach such good and virtuous things like not to speak untruth, be always polite, not steal, not to harm and kill anybody. The society survives on such ideals."

Antagonist self, "The soeity survives and dont thrive exactly for the reason that the preachers teach agaist things which are natural.

The concept ofacts sin and piety, right and wrong are preached at an ideal level and not on practical level. Moments of lying, desire to steal, hurt, cheat, be weak are as true and as widely practiced and appreciated, as the moments of piety, truth, gentleness which are condemned at times. They dont preach them the truth about the existence of so called vitues in the shape of vices they preach. They increase the degree of divergence between how people live and what they think the way they are living."

Protagonist self, " Preaching of such ideals set a goal towards which the society can aspire to move towards.This sets the tone of society's moral life."

Antagonist self, " Such ideals provide a feel good factor on the surface and hypocrisy in the system and in the day to day behaviour of people. Society has been harmed more by the hypocrisy of followers of the unbending ideals set by the messiahs than good. It is people who accept themselves, accepth others as they are, find a midway where everyone can compromise some aspect of each other, and decide to move ahead."

Protagonist self draws deeper into himself and thinks gently, " May be we each have to think again on the matter."

And then, there is bugle of ceasfire.

I thought sitting alone in soliotude will bring mental peace, but I find it is not the physical solitude, but mental soiltude that gives peace. But is it so......?

So, Sulu thinks to himself.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T16:57:00.005+05:30

I didnt know today was mother's day till it was announced from the pulpit of my Church today. There was special prayer for our mother dears. They were also presented with small presents. One elderly Church elder rendered a song in his well modulated quivering voice on My Mother's Prayer. It was wonderful and very touching to listen him sing in his effortless and rich voice. After the service, I went to him to collect a copy of lyric of the song. I am reproducing his song below.

My Mother's Prayer

I never can forget the day,
I heard my mother kindly say;
"You are leaving my tender care;
Remember child,your mother's prayer."

Ch:- When-e'er I think of her so dear,
I feel as if she still were here;
A voice comes floating on the air,
Reminding of mother's prayer.

I never can forget the voice;
That always made my heart rejoice;
Tho' I have wander'd God knows where,
Still I remember mother's prayer.

Tho'years have gone, I cant forget,
Those words of love, I hear them yet;
I see her by the old arm-chair,
My mother dear, in humble prayer.

I never can forget the hour,
I felt the saviour's cleansing power;
My sin and guilt were cancell'd there;
T was there He answere'd mother's prayer.

Ch:- O praise the Lord for saving grace!
We'will meet up yonder, face to face,
The home above together share,
In answer to my mother's prayer.

*********************************************

Listening him sing live was better than Lyric itself. Anyway, I decided to share with you all this song on Mother's Day.

2009-11-19T20:41:00.001+05:30

What a man …….!

Date:- Undated
Place:- Zaranj, Afghanistan

There is a gentlemen somewhere in the busy world, amongst the hustle and bustle of modern life, whose expectations from life are poor in worldly measure, but rich from life’s necessities. Whose life flows fresh and clear, searing through the mad world of modern life.

His needs are simple, he just wants to lead his life with contented heart, tranquil mind and still soul. He doesn’t aspire to master anything or preach anyone, but has a clear mind and clear purpose which keeps him apart from rest of the world. He finds his peace and satisfaction in whatever work or job he does. He doesnt not have ill will towards anyone, nor he is rude or quick to judge others. He doesnt build a mental world of resentment and vengefulness.

Instead, he builds a heart large enough to accommodate loving words and rebukes alike, gentle mind to absorb beautiful behavior and occasional rudeness of the world with equanimity. He has a personality pleasing to both gentle teacher caring those tender children and hard worked men toiling by the quarry. He doesn’t look to being flooded with good only, nor completely shielded from evil, but he wishes to pass by both good and evil, and know their differences and place them in their own places. He prays that the grace and gentleness that God has blessed us be shared and rubbed into those who have wandered off and are in want of it, even if they don’t realize. He also prays for the healing hands of God to touch all our heart, which is burning and is in anguish because of spiritual darkness we are living in. He understands that good men and evil men as world understands are Almighty God's children. More than the world, it is God who understands us.

Having put in sincere effort, he is satisfied with whatever God has blessed him with. He understands and lives by the fact that man’s stomach needs just enough food to keep him from hunger and provide necessary nutrients, man’s body needs just enough cloth to protect him from vagaries of weather. But he also knows that hungry stomach and cold body is no vessel for spiritual freedom, and lack of these amenities causes all the miseries of life. Having realised this, he works hard so that for want of these worldy things, he doesnt compromise with his spiritual life.

This is the story, sulu tells himself.

Mother - The life giver.

2009-10-03T15:47:00.017+05:30

Where the Life began .....

" The universe begins with mother. But for her, there will neither be life, nor the universe as we know. The life is her gift, but as we enter the life istelf, she is relegated to the background. And willingly she fades into lesser of the priorities, all the while, hiding her pains with prayers for not so gratefull progenies. What with necessities of life, is what we say. But these are excuses why there is not enough time for the one who gave us our life. The future has become the reason, to forget the past. The materialistic needs have taken the place of needs of love, feelings and passions for fellow human beings. In this race, we forget the fact that the progress in science and other materialistic comforts have occured as a result of undying love of our forefathers to bless the generations to come with the comfort they never knew for themselves, but wanted their children to have. The whole edifice of human civilization was built on the strength of parental love and desire to secure more comfortable life for their children. Take out the humane and emotional aspect of civilization, you have armageddon staring down at you. Love was the driving force, love will continue to be the driving force in progress we have made and we will make. Science devoid of love ... well .. I dread to think of it. The day we start to strive towards progress for sake of progress only, the beginning of our end will begin."

Love in its most refined form is exhibited in a mother's love for her children. As a mark of love for the source of all LOVE, shall we ..... Shall I say ... I love you, mother. And shall I request you all to express some act of acknowledgement of her love towards you ... in whatever small way, and bring a small smile on her face ... however old her face looks, whatsever number of lines that cut across her aged face .... for once, let the love be there once again, ... For once, give her a glow of a morning sun, during the evening of their life.

And, when they pass into the night, let them say, " Yes, I have lived my day, and night is the time for rest, rest in peace, shall I."

This post is dedicated to all the unsung mothers, whose love has sustained the humanity till now, but who have never been acknowledged. You all may not be eulogised in the golden letters, but it is on your spirit of love that this edifice of human civilization stands.

1. My mother atop Shillong peak.

2. Feelings, feelings is all that matters - Mom and her grand daughter.(My daughter)

3. What can compare the comfort of a snuggle under a parents arms. Another of grand daughters steals a snuggle under her arms.

4. And love dwelt in between our hearts. Children with their grand parents.

5. Moments of truth, moments of togetherness. Wife, Children and self with Mom.

6. But for you, what would world mean to anyone, Mother? Mother and me.

Ode to unsung Mothers

My Mother and me,
She sang ,
And I heard,
Of days that were long gone,
Of battles that were fought,
In the times that,
Lived in the memory,
So far.

Of the love and betrayals,
The ballads,
That passed down,
From mother to child,
In a soothing words,
Told.

Of the days to come,
Of mountains and rivers,
To be crossed.
The mothers dreams,
Of her children, their dreams,
And her wishes,
Mingled,
In her prayers,
Said in that,
Endearing voice.

Song sang from her,
Deepest heart,
Is all that took,
To spur her children,
To the heights, never attained.

So falls sulu in love with mothers.

Some more pictures from Afghanistan

2009-09-06T09:15:00.014+05:30

Down the memory lane .

"Todays moments are tomorrows memories. Since we tend to live more in our memories of past, why not build beautiful memories by living our moments by the ideals that are so dear to our heart."
So says sulu to himself.

These are some more pictures from my Afghanistan sojourn. As I told you all, in my previous post, I was stationed in the South -Western Afghanistan, bordering Iran in a place called Zaranj, which is the capital of Nimroz Province. This is the most backward province of Afghanistan. I met some Americans and French people who were working with some charity foundation, and helping set up orphanages and vocational training courses for Afghani women folk to equip them to generate income for themselves.
To me, these people were the real heroes who had left the comfort of their home and country, and, living among the poorest of Afghanis were working without salary. Only accomodation and journet fair was provided to them, and their friends and families used to fund their stay in Afghanistan. Each of them were donating their time for cause of humanity. Some had come for six months, others for one year or two years. Can we take a leaf out of their life in helping our own people to overcome poverty and ignorance?

1.Myself with an American gentlemen called Mike, who was helping in orphanage and running vocational training courses.

2. Carpet weaving training centre run by an American Charity.

3. Finished weaving product/carpet depicting Afghanistan.

4. Tailoring and emroidery were also taught to Afghani women by some French and American ladies.

5. Training class for beauticians are also run by them.

6. We visit orphanage here. Considering the fact that there is incessant war in Afghanistan, the need for orphanage is immense.Among the boys in the picture are those American and French women with head coverings, my doctor friend, Dr. Raj, in dark googles and another American friend in the back.

7. An Afghani boy from orphanage. The beauty and radiance among the children are universal. Their hopes, their expectant eyes, the glow of youthfull spirit on their face are the hallmark of children everywhere.

8. Myself lost among the Afghani children.

" Long after my body leaves a place, it is in my mind and heart that this place shall continue to live, and it is in their mind and heart that I shall continue to live. How I lived the moments I spent with them, shall determine in which part of their memory, I shall continue to live."

So says sulu to himself.

--- ADIEU ---

Home Coming

2009-08-28T11:11:00.004+05:30

One of the sweetest moments of our life is home coming experience. Wherever one may be, his home and her native land and neighbourhood is closest to her heart, however ugly or dirty the home and native town may be, it remains perched in the green land of our memory, forever lovely and refreshing.
On this subject, I posted a comment on one of the posts in Arunachal Diary. I am re-producing it down below because I felt so nostalgic about it when I read it again this morning.

*************************************************************

Cho, you have captured the basic essence of Ziro life in a concise and lucid manner. It still gives me goose bumps as we start to ascend the hills from Yazali. As one drives through hairpin bends, cool breeze is felt smooching your cheeks and gently weaving through your hair as if mother is running her loving fingers through hair while we are asleep in her bossom. One can smell the pine trees and feel freshness of mountain air coursing down your lungs.

But this magical scenery lasts till one reaches Ziro town proper. As soon as one enters Hapoli town one starts his life on a war footing, as you have to negotiate with numerous pot holes, dirty drains, spilled sewages,unplanned and ugly houses littering the lovely landscape, pigs, cows dogs and numerous four legged animals fighting with you for teir right to way. Town itself is no better than any slum. I wish we could do something to tidy up this dirt.Whenever I come over to Ziro, I spend most of my time in tending my bamboo and pine groves and little forest areas that my father owns. I feel better being outside among the fields and trees rather than Ziro town itself.
The thoughtless deforestation is the sad part of modern Ziro. Forest conservation in Apatani society was one of age old social wisdom of Apatanis which they have lost to the greed for quick money. Lets hope the cast away wisdom is picked up by younger generations.Ziro has a beautiful landscape and if its growth is planned properly and strict regulations for construction of new buildings are imlpemented, may be it will attract decent number of tourists. But whatever is to be done has to be done with urgency, otherwise it will be too late and the place will be littered with ugly scene of concrete jungle.

A thing of beauty is ... well guess what?

2009-08-16T19:25:00.023+05:30

Well, I came to Ziro on 31st July' 2009 and left on 2nd August' 2009. Very short stay indeed, considering Ziro is my home town. The beauty of greenery that surrounds Ziro during the summer and the way it gives way to golden carpet during the autumn with blue mountains in the yonder, is the most beautiful moment that I have experienced. Here, I am posting some of the pictures I took of somewhere, where a small patch of my rice fields lies, both during my latest visit and the visit to my beloved valley I made during October 2005, before I left for Afghanistan. It was a gala harvesting time.

a) Prelude to story of beautiful Ziro - A view as you drive down Aaabliya Balya - A Panoramic view of Ziro valley as you enter main my heartland.

b) As I go to my field, I have to pass through LEYU,(Leyu is a passage through the bamboo groves which one must take to leave village for any work .. including field work.) Here I take nenting leyu, which is a way to upper Hija village's fields and forests.

c) As soon as I leave Leyu, this is the vista my eyes are blessed with.

d) Another eye feasting vista as you view the Myoko( Open space beyond village area) beyond your village.

As I look back, I see the Leyu, with crops of millets planted on the sides of Aaji Ager(bunds)

Moving with steps that are confident of grounds beneath, of the paths that I grew up with, I find the lush green fields swaying with a blush of young heads of rice as the wind blows gently.

Here, I turn to my right and find the fields swaying to the music of the winds playing with instruments nature provided in abundance in the open fields. What symphony can compete with nature's sweet music. huh!!!!

I take a detour and take picture of my field from afar, where my father was laid to rest last year. A patch of raised land is called Nendu Nenchang - a public burial ground. My dad, rests not there, but where I stand and take these snaps. Small hut you see is Myole Piinyi, where the apatani priests perform rituals to propitiate the spirits. White bamboo structures are burial memorials.

8.

This is another picture - my eyes are never tired of such visual feast of greenery, freshness, beauty and tenderness that was all along.

Here, I look back before I enter leyu. My body leaves you, my dear, but I leave my heart with you. Keep it green, fresh, clean and forever young.

**************************************************************************************

****************************************************************************

***********************

When you see something, and find it beautifull, you behold it. Nature takes its tolls, and you look again, and wonder, where is that which I beheld with such awe? How has it withered with time and age? Where do I find such beauty, such love, which neither time nor age will leave it untouched. And you wonder!!!!!!

Suddenly, a whiff of fresh memories, not fresh in a sense it is new, but fresh because of its essence, ... the memories of childhood, of neighbours and surroundnings that looks so unpalatable to the foreigners, whispers, here I am. And, you know you have found true beauty. It grows with age, and as the seasons change, it reveals its beaty in phases.

What is beauty? Is it skin deep? Is it limited to the pereiod when you are young and fresh? Where does the beauty fade away when the age catches up with it?

Haaa Haa haa.... ha ha ha. Like most people, I am usually confused between youth and beauty. That loveliness that we see usually are the youths in bloom, not the beauty in its true colour. True beauty is deeper and unfathomable. Like a good old wine, it becomes better with age. So is Ziro. You thought, green and beautiful Ziro will give way to old and withering autumn and winter? No way. These are some of the pictures I took during the harvest season in October'2005, before, I left for Afghanistan.

10.
As Ziro matures from spring to summer and to autumn, it turns golden in its look and its content. Whole of Ziro valley is carpeted with golden crops of ricewith a far away blue mountains as a back ground. This is the time when gangs of male and females( Patangs), as per their age, band together and have maximum fun and frolick harvesting the rice fields and getting drowned in its celebration. Those of you, who have never experienced abandoned gay and joy, come during the harvest time to Ziro and join one of the patangs to drink the last drop of joy that lifes gives us. I assure you, you would have squeezed out the nectar, the honey that life has never blessed anywhere else.

This is a view from Siilang Diiting of Siilang, Boppii, Tbyo and Piisa pu putu. I took this scenary while proceeding to my fields beyond those blue mountains with my wife and children.

11.

Just as I cross a small stream to enter my field, I see this view. The fenced field is others. Beyond that, in a far off hirizon where lies the blue mountains is our clan's naring morey and katu morey.( Morey refers to forest, here clan forest.) To the left is Aifu Puttu(AAifu Hillock) and to the right is Piisa Pu Puttu.

12.

This is another shot of fraction of my field and beyond as described above. It looks surreal. Doesnt it?

( The first picture at the top is of my son Dingyang performing pabung banni, which means carrying the threshed rice grains to a place called intii pere. Usually children are tasked with pabung banni while the young and grown up females reap the rice stalks and young and grown upmales thresh the rice. It is one of the most beautiful moments of any childhood who have grown up in a typical Apatani Village life.)

13.

Rest a while. Well, goldend carpets all around. Why would anyone go for red carpets anywhere else?

Well, I will be in my home town this harvest season. God willing. Anyoneone who wants to have fun and frolick in the very work work that gives us life are welcome to join me.

Conversing with Myself - XII

2009-06-25T17:38:00.003+05:30

Discovering Life

Life is,
What I think,
Life is.

Life's chores are,
But a vessel.
What I think of Life's chores,
Is what my life is.
Wah! I found you,
And you thought,
Forever you will remain elusive.

Life is,
What I think,
Life is.

So says sulu to himself.

Conversing with Myself -XI

2009-06-22T16:43:00.004+05:30

Place:- Zaranj, Afghanistan
Date:- 21.01.2007

Peeking Through

Live your moment: hour will take care of itself. Live your hour nicely, day will take care of itself. Live your day to the full; life will take care of itself. Live one moment at a time, enjoy it with great hopes for future and pleasant memories of past. This is way to happy and contented life.

Also remember the wise words of Mark Twain when he said, “Lack of Money is root of all evil.”

Work hard for money so that you do not fall into evil ways .... and days.

Conversing with myself - X

2009-06-09T17:18:00.003+05:30

Date:- 03.01.2006
Place:- Zaranj, Afghanistan

Waking from a Nightmare .....

I can see my life clearly and impassiontely wading through fleeting moments of time. My life, as of today is led by whims and fancies of mind rather than my detrmined purpose and direction. I can see the kinds of thoughts that constantly pour inside my mind. It has a strong leaning towards the fantasy filled world and is susceptible to to such pleasure seeking fun filled; foolishly melodramaticworld constructed to please the ever seeking lazy mind. I can see and feel the kind of thoughts that filters into my mind, I cannot check those unwanted time and energy sapping thoughts from entering inside and filling my mind.
My saner and more sensible part of mind has awakened and has recognized what is good and bad for mind. But now, if I don’t let those superfluous and negative thoughts enter inside my mind; then I should train my mind to accept constructive and positive thoughts. I need to tune my mind and heart towards positive and constructive world of thoughts and deeds. I wake up from twilight zone of half asleep and half awake.

So says sulu to himself.

Conversing With Myself - IX

2009-06-08T17:40:00.004+05:30

Let me be ........

Let ,
My inner self and external world,
Remain balanced and harmonious.
Let,
Me learn to accept life as it comes,
Because,
Life and death,
Are nature’s rhythm.
Why … then worry?
Who can challenge destiny?
Let,
Me enjoy my life,
Like a child,
Free of care and worry.
Let,
Me take my life,
One step at a time,
Till it lasts.

So says sulu to himself.

Conversing With Myself -VIII

2009-06-05T17:39:00.003+05:30

Where am I?

In silence and quietness,
Introspect.
There in one will find,
All his answers.

So says sulu to himself.

Conversing With Myself- VII

2009-05-20T18:23:00.005+05:30

Date:- undated
Place :- Zaranj, Afghanistan.

Home is where heart is.

Roads were many,
And forked at places.
Lest I loose.
Took the route,
To the home that led.
Leaving behind,
Works and worries,
Where it belongs.
I tread on.

Lively is my step,
Gloom and worry,
Pain and weary,
Of body and soul,
Fades away,
As my spirit rise,
And home beckons,
I tread on.

Tinkling sound,
Of,
My little boy,
And,
Mirthful laughter,
of,
My little daughter,
Sings in my mind.
Heavy was my heart,
And,
Lighter it grows as,
I tread on.

I long for;
Tender arms,
And long feet;
That embraced my body.
Delicate fingers;
That pricked my ears.
Nimble palms;
That searched my face.
I long for those smiles;
Which tells,
Of thousand mischieves,
I long for tears,
That adorn,
Childs tender face.
That gleeful laughter,
And tenderly tear,
That rankling cheers,
Beckons me my dear.
I tread on.

Long is the way,
Longer still I have waited,
For my home and hearth.
Deeper and deeper,
My longing grows,
For a glance,
Of my loved ones.
Cold food and gloomy weather,
In a strange land,
Tells the tales,
Of love and warmth,
That home is made of.
I tread on.

Though,
My feet crumples,
And head spins,
My spirit soars,
Beyond mortals reach.
Over the mountains,
And the hills,
Seas and rivers,
Across the oceans,
And desserts.
With wings,
Of wind and light,
I shall be home dear.

And so sulu sings to himself.

On retiring.

2009-05-19T17:05:00.004+05:30

I have always looked towards retirement with great expectation. Retirement to me is finding time and resource to do such work which will help me actualise desires of my life without expecting back money or honour. It is a freedom from our necessity to work for living, for food, cloth and shelter. It is ability to devote my time and energy in works that has been closest to my heart. It means working and spending my time for sake of love for the work, for sake of happiness and contentedness from the realisation that I am part of that creation which is free from compulsion of finishing a job. Instead I am bonded to desire for finishing the job because of love for finishing that job. Thus retirement to me is not getting freedom from work, but entering that sphere of life where I can devote to such work where I can give hundred percent of my time and energy.

While I was in Afghanistan, my boss retired. I drafted a letter on occasion of his retirement, but failed to send it because I had second thought about its appropriateness. I am reproducing it now, and if he happens to see this, let me tell you this is straight from heart. Comments are welcome on the appropriateness of the letter.

****************************
Dated :- 29.11.2006
Place :- Zaranj, Afghanistan.

Dear Sir,

As you embrace your new phase of life, that leisurely phase of your long and active life, a period of life that you can control its pace, decide its texture and fill it with whatever colour you wish to fill it with, I wish you all the happiness and contentment that life can bestow.

We as a human have a finite life, but the joy and happiness that life gives is infinite. It is not only the number of years that counts, but what counts more is how much love, joy and happiness one derives along the path of his life.

More than what you have done and achieved, is how and why you have done that defines one’s contentment.

May you live your life with contented heart, tranquil mind and still soul. May you find happiness and joy in each day of of your retired life.

Your’s Sincerely,
Dani Salu.

Conversing With Myself - VI

2009-05-18T15:11:00.007+05:30

Date:- Undated
Place:- Zaranj, Afghanistan

Let the life flow .........

Be slow and steady,
In whatever you do.
Take time to think.
Take time to talk.
Take time to act.
This way;
You will lead a life of contentment.

So says sulu to himself.

Conversing With Myself -V

2009-05-15T17:16:00.010+05:30

Date:- 28.11.2006
Place:- Zaranj, Afghanistan

One man comes and says do this way. Another man comes and says do that way. First man may be right from his point of view and wrong from second person’s point of view. If the first person carried out the work as per his idea, most probably, he would have accomplished the work in the best possible manner. If the first person carried out the work as per second person’s idea, most probably he would not have accomplished the work in the best possible manner.

If the second person carried out the work according to his idea most probably he would have accomplished it in the best possible manner. If the second person had carried out the work as per the first man’s advise, he would find the manner unfamiliar and foreign and might not be able to accomplish the work in the best possible manner.

This shows that there is no universal way to do a thing, but there is universal philosophy how best one can perform his task. And that philosophy is realizing our own strength and attitude and aligning our effort in that line while performing our task. Each of us are unique and imbued with equal potentiality. The secret to success is identifying that unique quality and nurturing it.

Therefore, whenever you have a task to perform, find the best way you will enjoy doing it. That way, you will be romancing your work instead of being tasked to carry out the works which are foreign to you.

In the end, shall we say there is more merit in an individual’s attitude towards his work than the starched and well laid out ways of doing the work.
Work on your attitude man, on your attitude.

So says sulu to himself.

**********************************************************

In this section I will share some innocuous conversation I had with myself and which was jotted down in my diary.

Ordinary morning in a ordinary man's life.

2009-05-13T11:29:00.009+05:30

Morning dawned with cry of my two month old daughter. As I rub my eyes open, I hear my wife soothing and cuddling our dearest latest darling ( we already have three dearest darlings) with some sweet nothing songs in her gentle voice. As soon as she sees me, I am handed over the charge of the little angel and she pushes off for .... I rather say relieved herself of little angels' care and leaves the room. No words said. Simply understood that she had a tough night, while I remained in a dream world, oblivious of what the mother and child passed through the night. Still my eyes half closed, I hold my cutie pie. She cuddles up to my chest and her soft little fingers curls around my arms. Such tenderness, such softness, such abandoned helplessness brings freshness of the morning to my mind and brings back to life that were dead and withering in my grey mental self. If youth is the spring of life, infancy is the source from where the life begins its journey, and, it is the source of that ephemeral love that sustains and propels our life towards creation and sustainance of this whole universe of human civilization.

BANG ! I hear the bathroom door and wake up from this philosophical stupor to the reallities of life. I can hear my wife waking up my other dearest darlings with occasional sound of whacking up of their bottoms. This is it, I tell myself. Soon the house is filled up with noises of my favourite devils, their fights for the bathrooms and tooth paste, sounds of joy and excitement interspersed with occasional sob or cry. Than there is that deafening noise of my wife shouting at one of the child for his antic of remaining asleep even while brushing his teeth. Tempers cool down and those shouts are things of past and the children are cajoled into dressing up their school uniforms and finishing with their breakfast. My little darling also has her way of ensuring her share of attention by wetting my pants. At this, my four year old daughter Rinyi breaks into peals of laughter and other family members joins with giggles and smirks. At my expense, otherwise tense and serious atmosphere is loosened and the kids are all ready to take on the new day.

Father poor, you all may say as I am asked to dress up quickly and walk down our children to their new school by their mother. The power and terseness in her command would have shamed the best of the army commander. I dress up and gulp down few sips of my morning tea as she stares at the watch on the wall and me as if daring me to be late. Well, well, well .... I tell myself and leave my tea with such longing as would have shamed Juliet's longing for Romeo. I had a duty as father to take my children to school on time and duty as a husband to obey my wife without a question. My dream of life as beauty was transforming into life as a duty.

It is raining out side and my children are dressed in their raincoats. The sight of their raincoats gives me a tinge of jealousy as they are so pretty and tidy compared to dark and drab rain coats of my times. My daughter has a pink colour raincoat with a beautifull prints of puppys with large ears drooping by. Her face shows up pretty and beautifull like a flower in a garden.My son Pading, who is six year old is dressed likewise, only difference being the colour of his raincoat which is green. He is one naughty devil and is behind every prank that keeps the family busy. He is the sunshine, the freshness that keeps the family lively ... and on toes. My sight wanders and rests on my eldest son Dingyang. He has put on a raincoat which we bought two years back. He has overgrown it since and everything seems to be protruding. He tries to remind me I am yet to buy him a new raincoat by trying to button up his raincoat unsuccessfully. I take a mental note of it and acknowledge him with a nod.

My wife hands me her marketing bag to bring back their raincoats and umbrella and I tuck it under my arm obediently. I soothe myself by justifying that these are small things which I can obey, because when bigger decissions of life are made, she obeys me unquestioningly. Takes and gives have to be adjusted into the scheme of life to keep it on track. So much for my wisdom, eh.. I tell myself.

And lo ! we march to the new school my children have joined. As we proceed, my heart skips its beat umpteenth times as they tend to wander towards the middle of road after pulling off their hands from my grip. Splash ... my little devil Pading steps into the puddle of rain water on the road for the third time. Once again I tell him to keep clear of the puddle.... and there again he heads towards the next puddle. Such is the way with children.

On his return from school on first day, Pading had told me in a most spirited way that he had made two new enemies. When I asked how come he made two new enemies where as other boys make new friends in new schools, with a smirk on his face he tells me that a boy tried to mess up with him and in response he punched him till the other boy cried. Then someone from behind caught him and punched him. Pading turned behind and rained punches on the other boy. By then, class teacher appeared and separated them. They were let off with reprimand. He told me with much gutso and sense of triumph. Shall we say he started his new school with a bang!

Squeezing through narrow footpaths and fighting off the traffic we reach their school. As we hug, kiss, and wave our hands off each other and as they step into their respective class rooms, a sense of joy and fulfilment courses through my mind. "Oh! what beauty they are and how lucky I am to have them," I tell myself. But then, isn’t it every parents privilige to feel their love ones are the best. To a parents eye, everything else in this world pales away in the sight of their children. Thus, I try to rationalize my child like exuberance about my kids.

I come back to my wife with her market bag hanging heavy with children's raincoats and their umbrella clutched under my arms. I pretend as if I have been wronged immensely with a somber face. She gives a patronising smile, an understanding nod, pulls up a chair for me and asks whether I would like to have nimbu pani (fresh lemonade) with a mesmeric twinkle in her eyes. Like a pacified child, I give in to her magic and there another part of day begins anew. After all she is a female of species and understands males weakness and their unqualified egoes.

************************************************

This is a pen picture of a ordinary morning in a ordinary man's daily life. By the way, I came to Shillong on posting on 2nd May 2009 from New Delhi. My children joined their new school this Monday. This is all for now folks. Bye till I have another innocuous story to tell.

Remembering Afghanistan - I

2009-02-28T14:07:00.006+05:30

Life has a way of throwing up surprises, and one such unexpected road which took my life unawares was my posting to Afghanistan. In a hindsight it was a wonderful experience, but living that experience was completely a different song. As one of many aids, Indian government is providing to fledgelling Afghanistan government, road from Zaranj to Delaram (215KM) was also taken up by India. Border road organisation was entrusted with this job. I went there and stayed for two years and came back during November 2007.
I landed up at Kabul Airport on 25th October 2005. The winter was setting in and whip of cold wind played with my unkempt hair as I stepped out of Airport. As I looked out and saw the town surrounded by barren hills, it reminded me of Kathmandu valley. Airport itself reminded me of our old Ziro Airport. Only difference was it had pot holes near the edge of runway and number of bombed Aircraft scattered all over, like broken toy aeroplanes in my children's room. We slowly piled up infront of immigration counter. People at the counter looked at my passport and at me, and scrutinised my face to a point of embrassment, they repeated it for sometime and took me to a different room. They didnt believe I was an Indian and put my pass port to scrutiny again and again. Only after I showed my disqeuit and showed Ministry of External Affairs letter to Afghanistan Embassy, did they let me through ever so reluctantly.
Next morning I flew down to a place called Zaranj in a eight seater small plane. Weather was clear and sky was deep blue stretcing far into the universe. Down below, there was not a whip of cloud, so I could fill my eyes with awsome landscapes. All the way to Zaranj, which took two hours, we crossed mountain range after mountain range, but not a forest was seen. It looked so much like face of mars and other planets as we see in science fiction movies.
Landing at Zaranj was totally a different experience. The runway was not metalled and it was laid with small stone chips. I had the childish fear that one of that stone might pierce the tyre and it would burst. Nonetheless, it landed safely and I experienced the most wonderfull flight I have ever flown.
Zaranj is the capital of Nimroz Province and it is hardly half a mile from Iran border. This is one of the remotest part of Afghanistan. I suppose it should rank among the remotest in the world. The whole of province has not had any metalled road in history. There is a huge market for second hand four wheel SUV cars as all the journey is a cross country run through the desert. There is no system of vehicle registration and driving license. So all the vehicles have the registration numbers of previous country and owner.
There were no banks existing when I landed, and people kept their money with money lenders. There is a money market where various currencies are sold and bought. Currencies of various countries are kept piled up on the shelves and people come and purchase as we buy vegetables from vegetable market in India. It was something very new to me and I took sometime to understand the system. Iran currency i.e rial is the prevailent medium of exchange, although US dollar is also favoured by many. Afganistan govt has introduced Afghani currency and DA Afghan Bank. But people have neither faith in Afgani currency nor DA Afghan Bank. So, they still prefer to keep their money with money lenders and hold foreign currencies. There are no cultivable lands nor any industry, but God has blessed them with acumen for money management. So, they are very gud business men.
Security was a big issue. Although Taliban govt had fallen two years back, it was resurfacing in this part of Afghanistan with much more vigour and determination. Within twenty days of joining, one of our men from Kerala was kidnapped and beheaded. Many a time our people used to be ambushed on the road sides. There was a constant fear stalking us whenever we moved out side. Every vehicle we passed by was viewed as a potential suicide jihadi. There were times at night when one would watch rockets falling around the camp with total dispondency. These were moments of heplessness. We lost number of our own people and also Afghani soldiers who were guarding us to our enemies. Reminds me of " There are no atheists in a cornered place." Everybody thought of their maker in those situations.
I came back to India towards the end of November 2007. Today, the road stands completed and the the remotest place in Afghanistan stands connected to the rest of Afghanistan .
Afghani People are warm and hospitable, but have that trait of short tepmer which comes in a package with honesty and simplicity.
These are some of snaps which I thought I should share with you all.

Infront of my makeshift office with my staff at Gurguri, Afghanistan.
Visiting a road construction site.

New Road being built. Zaranj - Delaram, Afghanistan.

Afghani warriors to guard us.

Commander in the centre fell prey to Taliban bullets.

Remembering Afghanistan - II

2009-02-27T23:07:00.003+05:30

Outside Minar village over an old burial ground. Afghanistan.

Minar Village, Afghanistan

Entrance to Minar Village, Afghanistan.

One for Memory. Minar Village, Afghanistan.

Goat strolling on the roof of a house.

Remembering Afghanistan - Trip to Minar village - III

2009-02-27T22:13:00.006+05:30

Inside a courtyard of Afghani House.

Inside Afghani house with a Afghani Patriach.

With Afghani Family Patriach.

With young boys of Minar Village, Afghanistan.

Before leaving the village, group photo for remembrance.
Odd man out with Afghani villagers.

Karate kid

2008-12-25T21:02:00.005+05:30

Pading tested for yellow belt.

Meet my kids.

2008-12-19T22:24:00.008+05:30

Meet my kids - Miss Dani Rinyi, Master Dani Pading and Master Dani Dingyang in this photo feature.

All for one, one for all.
Rinyi, Pading ( Dressed for Krishna Leela) ,Dingyang

Pading visits Rinyis Nursery Class

Kids visit a Pizza Hut

Conversing With Myself -IV

2008-11-07T14:49:00.007+05:30

Musing of a parent

Children are bundle of joys. I tell myself when in one of the better moods watching my children laugh and play. Children are bunch of nuisance. I tell myself watching them play and laugh, when in one of that dreadful foul mood and am looking for excuse for that foul mood.
These are the momentary response at the spur of moment of a parent.
But children are children and are inscrutable in their loveliness and mischief. They never fail to lift my spirit from the darkest of that occasional emotional turbulence that each of us have to pass through from time to time. The innosence in their mischief, and that irresistably rascal mischief in their mirth are the shades of life which brings rapturous joys to the parents. In their laughter and their mischief, in the sparkle of their eyes and rankling sweet voice of their laughter are sown seeds of sense of accomplishment, the desire to be best in the world, the wilful readiness to sacrifice everything to keep that innocent face smiling and mischievous and to let that free spirit soar to the limitless sky. The magic and miracle happen with every step the children take. They are the apple of their parents and their loveliness pales all other beautiful things put together in the wide wide word.

To the children, parents are the whole world and to the parents, the whole world has come wrapped in a bundle in the shape of their children.

..................................

With age comes wisdom tinged with cynism and doubt. I ask my self whether with passage of time, will we continue to bask in the unconditional love we share now, will their spirit continue to soar on the wings of our hope, will their zeal continue to glaze with the power of our prayer.

Then my cynism self tells me, once I was also a darling of my parents and basked under their unconditional love. What are you to your parents now. What is your present equation with them. Dark clouds of doubt sets in.

My wisdom self comes to my rescue and in its soothing words whispers, " Enjoy your day while the sun shines, look at the clear blue sky and fill yourself with peace and immensity it bestows, not at the whip of dark cloud somewhere in the corner of far away sky. Once you were a child sporting as gaily as your children, and now you are a parent, proud and anxious as your parents were, and soon you will be a grand parent enjoying the evening of your life. Soon your children will will play their part as life metaphores from one role to another role."

"Ah ! yes ," I tell myself.

************************************

Musing of an aging parent. So says sulu to himself.

Cyber Wisdom

2008-11-07T12:55:00.003+05:30

While going through my drawer, I found my old pocket diary where these words of cyber wisdom was jotted down. I dont remember from where I collected it. I am writing down these words of wisdom for my own benefit for reminding me whenever I surf my blog and also for each of you who care for such words of wisdom to give direction to their life ......

1. Never think or speak negatively about yourself that puts you in disagreement with God.

2. Meditate on your God given strengths and learn to encourage yourself for much of the time nobody else will.

3. Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You are unique, one kind of an original. So, dont settle for being a copy.

4. Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you.

5. Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.

6. Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.

7. Learn to Handle criticism. Let it develop you, instead of discourage you.

8. Determine your own worth instead of letting others determine it for you. They will short change you.

9. Keep your shortcoming in perspective, you are still a work in progress.

10. Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God who lives in you.

The last line reads like this :-

"Instead of focussing on what you have not got, focus on what you have and appreciate that. You need to appreciate what you got before you can focus on getting more."

May be added by me, I dont remember now.

Of envious Gods and an angel called Nanu

2008-11-03T22:09:00.006+05:30

She was simply my Nanu, chirpy, pretty and a wonderful person to be around with. She was close to my heart not only because we had same blood running in our vein, but because of the unique affability that existed between us. I dont remember how or when I first met her, but being the darling of my aunt and uncle among the bunch of their wonderful children, there was no mistaking on her popularity among the extended family. I can still see her showing me her picture in a dance pose decked in a velvety dress. She must have been in standard one or two.

Fastforward ten years later.

She had appeared for her matric exam and was getting ready for NERIST entrance exam. I often visited her house ( naturally whenever I needed something from my aunt or uncle ... being a truant youngman) during those days. Whenever I came, she would be the first to come out and greet me and tell all about her dreams and plans as wont a young girl of 15 would and elicit a promise from me to visit her regularly incase she makes it to NERIST. I would, I promised, for upteemth time. Fate had something else for her, and NERIST simply vanished from our horizon.

In a short while, I started courting her aunt and Nanu became my willing accomplice in wooeing my fiance . Her aunt became my better half with passage of time, and we became closer as a family.

Meanwhile, I had joined civil service, and was posted in Gauhaty. Once again Nanu and I were involved in trying to build her dream into reality as she came down to Gauhaty for various entrance exams. She had all the stuff to be a succesfull candidate for either medical or engineering college. But, what did we know fate had something else for her and she would straddle across the country like a free bird.

She joined Delhi university. She would make a stopover at my place at Gauhaty whenever she passed through. After graduation she joined TISS, Mumbai to finish her PG. I was tied up with my career and she after her profession. Still we kept in touch through phone and she was all gong ho about her studies and her future dreams.

I went to Afghanistan for two years and she joined an NGO. Whenever, I called her up, she would elicit promise from me to visit her in Mumbai. I would, I promised once again for umpteemth time, but could never make good my promise.

Last summer, I met her for a very brief moment at Itanagar. In that brief moment, she told me all about her dreams once again. She had dreams, beautiful dreams of world filled with beautiful people which she enjoyed and shared. She, always a child at heart whenever she met me, saw me as a means to weave and chase her seamless dreams.

How did we know she had roused the envy of Gods and angels by her lively nature and beautiful being, that they would pluck her in the prime of her youth. Before she could spread her wings to realise her earthly dreams, they took her to be with them in the heaven above.

On 31st October'2008, while we mortals waited for her to spread her wings and take to the sky to fulfill her dreams, GODS in the heaven quitely stole her from us.

O heavenly spirits, I do not have any ill will towards you for snatching her from amongst us, but I pray thee, that she may remain as free and happy in your paradise as she was here. And that she glide in the valleys, soar into the sky, hop from flower to flower as her spirit flows. Let her spirit remain unfettered under your safe guidance, Good Lord. May she continue to bring warmth of a winter sun and gentle breeze of summer evenings in heaven as on earth.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

AN UNCLE REMEMBERS

When you left...............................

I always knew you were an angel. And now you have gone to be with your own folks. Angel you were, but with a difference .. for

You left .... the shadow of your being in the sunlit path of my life forever,

Youleftyour mirthfull laughter which would shame the songs of rivulets meandering and spiralling down the hill,

You left your sparkling eye, filled with mischiefs that would shame the fawns sporting in a meadow,

You left your angelic smile all scaterred, and never cared to gather it before you left for your heavenly abode,

You left so many things half done, were you in a hurry?

************
Good Angel

Even so, you are in a fairy land now,

Be ever as happy as you were,

Among the fairies, dancing from flower to flower

Suckling the honey that nourishes your eternal being

Here, your AKU prays for your soul and spirit,

Knowing full well, you are the one who need no prayers,

For you, yourself are the prayer

The Good angel !

########################################

The Old Fool

This old fool will,
At times be emotional,
Eyes will become misty.

Excuse him.

And if you happen to pass by in your angelic way,
Dont be startled by,
The drop of tears,
From Old fool's eyes.

Excuse him.

If you happen to fly by with your fairy friends,
And peek through the window,
And see this Old Fools lips,
Mumbling,
Just skip through,
For this Old Fool,
Asks his Lord,
Why pluck the flower before it blooms,
Before it yields to ,
the caress of the winds,
songs of the bees,
dance of the butterflies,
sweetness of the water,
warmth of the spring sun.
The freshness of dews still on its petals,
You took her away.
Is it because, you were jealous,
Of the beauty of your own creation?
Tell your fairy friends,
This is your own foolish AKU SULU,
In his own foolish way,
Conversing with Lord.

Excuse him

And as you fly away once again,

Into your heavenly abode,

Look back once again,

But think no more,

Of your Foolish Aku Sulu,

For emotions are preserves of we mortals.

Adieu Adieu

When everything seems to fall apart .......

2008-07-07T13:08:00.009+05:30

When everything about life seems to fall apart and every plan seems to go wrong, stay put and hold your head, high and clear, and look for that silver lining which flickers just beyond that fading horizon. You shall find it inevitably, and, unfailingly hope shall become reality. Whenever everything in life seems to go wrong and the whole universe seems to be conspiring against me, I calm myself with above words.
When you, yourself seems to be falling in a bottomless pit, when the last breath seems to have gone out and the last of the muscle seems to have given way to the pains, hold on for few more minutes, and then few more minutes, and then for few more minutes, there you shall reach the finishing line as a winner, there you shall win the ball from your opponent. On the occasions when I participated in a long race and was faltering near the end ,or was in a football game, dribling across the enemy line, I used to motivate my waning stamina and tired spirit with above words.
By Lord's blessing, my life has been sailing smoothly and gently for sometime and I have long given up running races and being a aggresive soccer player. Tell you, in my younger days I was a passionate soccer player and for me, fair play was not a better part of my valour in the game. I used to rough up and be roughed up tackeld and be tackled, life was a passionate love affair and everything seemed fair and enjoyed the melee to the hilt. Youth was so intoxicating and I drank it with both hands. Football was best way I could unleash my untamed youthfull energy. By God, my life was football, football and football.
Times have elapsed and age has mellowed my wild spirit. Along the life, without realising when I changed the lane, I find myself walking in a safer and more gentle side of life's path. I find myself looking at better and pleasenter sides of my life and picking up bright things and overlooking darker things . I find myself, humming a song of happiness and fulfillment as I stroll along the life of passion.

But was my life destined to be a never ending saga of pleasentries and smooth sailing? It seemed so till I ...... !!! How so ???

Well, I had a well laid out plan for my life and family when I boarded a Deccan Airline for my home from New Delhi on 14.06.2008. I was heading home to bring my family from Ziro, Arunachal Pradesh to New Delhi. Life seemed bright and promising and future looked like a long and straight highway, smooth and green. I could almost feel myself cruising along the highway of my life gently and pleasently. After all, I had laid out my plans perfect to the last end. I had come back from Afghanistan in the end of November'07 and joined my new place of posting at New Delhi. By April end, I had managed to get accomodation at one of the poshest and best location in Delhi. I also had managed to furnish it by May end. By the first week of June, I had confirmed from my head office that I will not be moved from New Delhi in near future. There are two very well reputed schools within the sight of my house. I spoke to the school authorities about the admission and they assured me of admission for my children. Everything was tied up and here I was on my way to bring my family members. We were going to stay together after almost three years of separation. Icing on the cake for my onward journey was the fact that I was going to meet one of my childhood friends at Guwahaty and from there we would be travelling together to our hometown.
Ominous signals of my misfortune started casting its shadow after I landed at Guwahaty. I went to call on two of my seniors at Guwahaty. To my ill luck, both of them were not present when I visited their homes. There was a miscommunication between my friend and myself, had a few hot words by mobile, did not meet each other and boarded separate buses for Itanagar even without seeing each other till fate brought us together next morning near a huge land slide. This was one of those regular occasions when very close friends have a angry tiff off with a assured knowledge that before dust settles down from the present row, things would have been forgotten and kidding each other will start.As we were moving out of city, we found serpentine line of vehicles stuck in some goddamned traffic jamm. After waiting for two hours, at around 11 pm, we took a detour and headed for Itanagar via alternate route. On reaching Karsingsha, which is around 20km short of Itanagar, bus stopped as there was huge landslide. There I found my friend stuck too. First of my long walk to home started. We walked around 5 km and got picked up from Nirjuli in a Maruti car. Oblivious to us, Itanagar was cut off from rest of India due to torrential rain fall for last one day. Neither did coming days looked promising. Rain and land slide had claimed 18 lives the previous day. Our spirits were further dampened when the news of massive land slides on the Ziro- Itanagar road was broken to us. The news was that, Ziro, my home town, where my family stays would remain cut off for more than two months. We remained stuck up at Itanagar for four days and on 19th June we decided to trekk down to our beloved hometown. As per my original plan, we were to leave Ziro on 19th June for Itanagar. Instead, I was walking through the broken paths to reach my family. We walked for around 36kms i.e from Midpu to Potin through the rain and mud. A Tata Sumo was sent from Ziro to pick us up. To our great relief we found it waiting for us as we clibmed over last of the short cuts with60 degree inclination.. By the time I reached Potin, my knee hurt me so much that, I was unable to bend it and lift my legs. With great difficulty, I hobbled up the vehicle. On reaching Ziro, I tried to get down at market place, but my legs couldnot support me and I almost fell flat on my botts. Driver and a friend lifted me up and put me in vehicle again. My spirit was high and I was my cherubic self, but my knees were not listening to me. I was unable to stand on my own. On reaching home, I was literally carried upstairs.
For five days I didnot go anywhere and remained confined to bedroom and drawing room. And during these five days, I kept contemplating on the matters concerning people of Ziro and their helplessnes on the face of such natural calamities. Costs of essential items had skyrocketted, there was fuel scarcity and auto rickshaws and public transports had stopped plying, unable to feed, many schools had vacated their hostels and sent their students home. Many more couldnot afford fuel for their school buses and closed down their schools. Sick couldnot go for treatment at other places, students missed their tryst with admission dates and men and women looking for job missed out on their interview dates. Such was the chaos thrown up on everyday life of ziroians.
My best laid plans also had gone kaput.I came back to Itanagar on25th aongwith my family through a very trying and treacherous road.

On reaching New Delhi on 30th June'08, I came to know that I had been posted to some other office. This was the ultimate sour part of my well laid plan. I was looking at the prospect of hunting for new house and school for my children at yet unknown location. One single factor which prompted me to bring my family to New Delhi was the fact that I had a comfortable accomodation a in a very good location with all the amenities within a short reach.The very thing was snatched from under my feet while I was sharing the dream with my family. It was a great shock. Yup. Initially bumbfounded. Wasnt expecting such a turn of events.
However, I wasnt giving up my good life, and my good life was in my mind and not in the material surrounding. I got my children admitted in school and they are a bunch(two boys and a girl) of a happy going school children as of now. I am looking forward to new posting and take the life by its horn. One may change my material surrounding, but till I have my spirit to live burning, nothing can prevent me from living and enjoying life. Every single day, every single minute is a moment of celebration for being a conscious part of this beautiful universe.

Conversing With Myself -III

2008-06-04T06:29:00.005+05:30

A beautiful perspective to see through your day .......

Another beautifull message I got from my uncle yesterday morning.

" The beauty of the morning isnt the sunrise but the thought of God giving us another day to see through life and become more wise." Good morning.

How true, how true I told myself. And while I was taking the morning walk this morning, I saw the lovely message among the flowers that blossomed all round the subroto park, in the leaves that looked fresh with the morning dews, in the birds that sang and danced from tree to tree, flower to flower, the gentle breeze caressing through my body and mind and weaving through the hair. How miraculous everything looks and how how wonderfull his creations are. I marvelled so.
The beauty of the world grows deeper and wider when we align with nature with depthness of our soul and acceptance of Almighty's blessings in his every creation.

And if you have a doubt, or the problems you face during the day seems unsurmountable, then take a deep breathe, reflect on HIM and ask yourself whether it is the end of the world, or there is a life beyond this seeming problem. You will see, how the momentary difficulty pales in the light of the bigger picture of life that each of us is destined to live, in the wide range of choices we have align our life according to our will.
World, after all is as I will. What better way to start the day with right attitude and gratitude to Lord for blessing us with another day which we can shape with our own hand.

So says sulu to himself.

The better half.

2008-06-02T06:44:00.004+05:30

When a person is in trouble, and the problems in life seems unsurmountable, one should get married,............. ...................... .................... troubles will become more benign because all other problems becomes smaller ...compared with marital so and so. This was a sunday testimony from a youngman who was to get married on Monday i.e today. It brought a peal of laughter instantly. followed by a moment of silence on introspection.
When I was driving back from church in my caribbean blue colour alto, the words of that young man rankled in my mind, and I started reflecting on various marital advise I was offered.
Of particular interest was the advise given by the then Chief Secretary of Haryana, who had come as a senior guest lecturer and to interact with probationers who had just joined civil service. What he had to say was, "Young men, always keep in mind, marriage management is as difficult and important as your career management. Give equal time and importance to marriage and carrier." It was a sagely advise, and my appreciation for it grows as I grow older in my marriage and career. The trick is to balance between being a loving and caring spouse and not getting taken for granted.

Another aphorism on marriage I came across was, when I met a senior, who had just got married. On being congratulated he expressed that there wasnt much to celebrate and followed up with the quip " Khao to bhi Pachtao, nahin khao bhi to pachtao. Main ne khake hi pachtane ka faisla kiya." Loosely translated, it means that marriage is something which you repent when you do it, and also repent when you dont do. This doesnt sound very optimistic. Nevertheless marriage is not a continuous saga of bed of roses of those suhag raats, it has its roses and fragrances, but it also has its thorns and stenches. Marriage, like a plant needs continuous tending and caring,occasional dose of fertilizers and prunning are needed to keep marriage thriving and blissful.

But the particular incident which brings forth spontaneous mirth to my face, is of a incident with a very close friend of mine back at Ziro. We are three friends, who always seems to be looking for peace of mind everywhere and calling for ceasefire with our spouses after having wrongly( from other half's point of view) stepped on their toes. One particular incident which made one of us really go red with embarassment and a feeling of emptiness when our ego is pricked like that of air out of balloon, happened this way.
It was one of those moments when everything in marriage seems to go wrong, and the better half is in full battle gear ready to defend her sphere of influence within the marital kingdom, and any overtures for ceasefire seems to bounce back with increased intensity of hostility. Every attempt on the part of husband to bring some peace seems to be adding fuel to the fire. Man, he was in his most desperate momemts. Then like a streak of light beyond the dark cloud, wife speaks to him in the most gentle words. " ............ from whatever is happening in our marriage, I have come of the opinion that I must get married to you even in our next birth." My friends faced suddenly became brighter with anticipated pride , chest instantaneously expanded with ego being pumped up. Atleast, he thought so. ....... In the same tone, wife continued, " ... next birth .. yes, next birth, when we are married, I will be husband and you shall be my wife. I shall come with same attitude as you have of me now. Only then shall we appreciate each others travail." With this simple word , whatever pride my friend had built up in his own right throughout the life went out with a puff, like a wind out of balloon.

This is a true incident which has happened within a very close circle of friends. For modesty's sake, I shall refrain from taking his name.

Marriage needs empathy more than sympathy. Learning to look at things from other half's perspective certainly helps in appreciating each other, by accepting each other's differences. We are individuals with our own sense of biases and opinions, characters imbibed through our environment and family and also by our genetical make up. Each of us needs sufficient personal space to maneouvre our emotions and moods, our aspirations and desires, our hopes and despair. Very often than not, we fail to look at things from our spouse's perspective, and also from accepting the fact that there is a difference of perspective and it is better to respect each others perspective rather than prevail our opinion on our hapless otherhalf.
These are little thoughts about marriage, which I felt might help us to have a healthier marriage life. By no stretct of imagination, I can vouch I have perfect marriage. Far far far from it. But knowing the facts about marriage, helps me untanlge occasional misunderstading that crops up in our marriage, it helps see the thorns and ditches, and to be prepared for eventuality if it cannot be avoided.
Like death, marriage is made made in heaven. No one knows when where and how it will happen till it happens. But how we live our marriage is in our hand and attitude.

Conversing With Myself - II

2008-06-01T09:03:00.007+05:30

I got a buck up call from one of my uncle in the way of occasional inspirational sms he sends. Last evening evening he sent me this sms -

"BIRTH was not your choice. DEATH will not be your choice. But YES, the way you live between the two terminals is only your Choice."

I love to be in control of my living life. I mean to live and not survive and dictate the term and standard by which I want lead a happy and contented life. Few things which makes me fully in controll of my life are getting up early and walking or exercising upto an hour, deep inhaling exercises, having enough time to contemplate my day ahead, coming to office on time and leaving at right time and having whole of evening to myself and going to bed by 10.30 PM. This routine, though looks innocuous, gives me the feel of immense power and contentedness. Reading bible and praying Lord Jesus gives me spiritual satisfaction. When my family is with me, nothing like spending quality time with my children.
My dear readers will ask me why then, I am putting my best foot back ward. HHmmm!!! Its because I lost control of my life for last few days by going to bed fast two o'clock in the night and getting up late in the morning, thereby loosing my most precious hour of the day, not having gone to church for last two three weeks, and not being able to fully concentrate on my job. All this hullaboo is outcome of my failure to go to bed on time. Today morning also I got up late i.e 0700Hrs and kept ruing over my lazyself self taking over my dilligent self. I had my two financial papers to read, a breakfast to be prepared, bath to be taken and to get ready to go to church, and also exercise which keeps me energised whole day . Time was past my exercise time and there just seems to be not enough time to do everything that I liked to start my day with.

When you are up with such negative thoughts from your sleep it certainly merited my comment best footbackward. Be away you lazy self, be away you negative self, be away you slothfull self ! ......... ................

And LO! after giving vent to my accumualted negative self, i feel lighter and more postive, I see the rainbow colour over the bend. I shall have a nice bath and attend Sunday Churh. Peace Happiness and Goodday to you all. The stretch between two terminals of birth and death is your blank canvas. Paint it the way you want it to be. Once again wishing you a vey happy and fufilling journey between these two terminals.

So says sulu to himself.

Caribbean Blue

2008-05-31T09:43:00.001+05:30

Ever since I descended in New Delhi last November, I have been planning to acquire a motor car for my family and self. Motor car, indeed motor car, that is what I wanted. My one point criteria for selecting a car was value for money. I wanted maximum provision with minimum expense. After consulting lots of friends and so called auto experts, I convinced my self to go for Maruti 800. Nothing is cheaper than Rs189000/- car. All along, friends and alikes protested against my choice.... reason given...it is too ordinary. Frankly speaking, status and looks are very tempting, and I am too human not to be guided by them. Many a decision have gone awry, just because I acted with a single motive of keeping my ego and trying to meet everyones expectation. Often than not, my life is based on my perception of what others wanted of me, and on how I wished to please. Very often, I end up letting my perception of others expectation of me lead me rather than leading a life that was within me, which was yearning to be given a chance for leading owns life.
Now, once again I was torn between please all attitude and my vision of running family of of six and a parent back home with a take home pay of just Rs15000 in Delhi. My economic compulsion weighed heavily over my self inflated ego. In moments of absolute peace and stillness, I patted myself for deciding according to my rationality, rather than my emotion. But was it to be?
Last week, my departmental sanctioned a car loan of Rs144000/- and this, somewhat started blurring my vision of rationality. When I called my wife one evening and told her about my decission to go ahead with Maruti, she very gently expressed that Maruti 800, though good, was too run down, and referred how we have been driving one for near about last one decade. She opined we might consider Maruti Alto, which will give atleast a feel of channge.
Man, nothing touches a husbands ego than a wife daring in such innocuous manner. I was moved, but my prospect of living on Rs15000/- per month with a relatively large family kept me bound to my economic necessity. Well, I was still decided on going ahead with my old 800.
Last week I paid a visit to Rana Motors near Bikaji Cama place and started flipping through brochures. Salesman was at his politest way, my eyes were feasting on many cars that were displayed. While going through Alto's brochure a word 'CARIBBEAN BLUE' caught my eye. Man, consider me whatever you wish, but I had never heard of this colour and I fell in love with this colour instantly. My mind gave way to my heart without any tinge of remorse and I immediately expressed my desire to own a 'CARIBBEAN BLUE'. Salesman asked me whether I wanted to test drive or look at one that was in their garage. I didnt feel the need to have a look, I simply liked it from the brochure. Love was love and there was no place for condition . And to be in love at first sight was simply exhilarating. The cost worked out to be Rs2,89,700/- i.e after taking into account all the rebates. This was well above my budget, but desire is desire and nothing stands between my desire and my objective. Throwing all my well calculated arithmatic of economics to wind, I fished out last of my penny from my savings and ordered for my beloved 'Caribbean Blue Colour Alto'.
Today turned out to be my lucky day, a day I was looking forward for my Caribbean Blue Colour Car. I went to take delivery of my beloved car and tell you all! it didnot disappoint me.
The colour is simply cool. And I have kept it tenderly locked up in my garage as if a young lover would put his arm around his beloved for the first time.
This is the short and long of how I ended up owning a 'Caribbean Blue Colour Alto' today.

Conversing With Myself - I

2008-05-29T08:17:00.004+05:30

Every evening I decide to be up by 0500 hrs next morning, keep my resolution for few days, then slip away by ten -fifteen minutes everyday and when I slip down to 0630, I give a buck up call to myself and once again start my 0500Hrs ritual. Presently I am in a late raising zone and thereby skipping my morning yoga and walk. Today was no exception and was up by 0630 hrs, and spent my first few moments ruing over my indiscipline life and prospect of loosing my morning exercise. And like all other previous mornings I resolved to be up by 0500Hrs from next morning. Lets see, how I bounce back from present low.
It is a very refreshing experience to be an early raiser. The fresh air that I inhale in gulps, the birds singing in nearby trees and being at their most playfull mood, the sense of control I have of my own life, the ample time I have for my day to be planned is too good to give a miss. It is that initial inertia of few moments that define my day. If I break that inertia, my day is in my hand and when I am unable to shake off my initial inertia, I get up with a feeling of being a looser and all day, the negative feeling pervades my life.
Today, some how seems to be another promising day for me, lets see what it holds for me and what make it hold for me.

So says sulu to himself

Life is a swan song

2008-05-28T21:30:00.004+05:30

Life comes in many hues and colours and paints us with the hand that charts our destiny. It is in continuous process of evolution in incremental ways. At times it is part of me and at times it remains away from me. When it is within me, then it is in singular entity, and when it is out side of me it exists in plurality. When the duality of self is in possesion, then one can use the moment to introspect and self examination. What one's life was, what one's life is and what one's life ought to be is contempleted upon. In this moment of quiteness, one sees his life in its true colour, its contours and shapes are visible in a detached way. This is the moment when one is closest to identify himself with who he really is, a moment when one is at peace with himself and can smile at himself.
Having put my foot into mid life, I am starting to appreciate life like never before. Past four decade has been a beautiful song with its varied frequincies and tones. In celebration of wonderfull life I have lived, I dedicate this blogg to everything that life has to give me.

NB:- RM, thanks for prodding me.