Mother's Day

I didnt know today was mother's day till it was announced from the pulpit of my Church today. There was special prayer for our mother dears. They were also presented with small presents. One elderly Church elder rendered a song in his well modulated quivering voice on My Mother's Prayer. It was wonderful and very touching to listen him sing in his effortless and rich voice. After the service, I went to him to collect a copy of lyric of the song. I am reproducing his song below.


My Mother's Prayer


I never can forget the day,
I heard my mother kindly say;
"You are leaving my tender care;
Remember child,your mother's prayer."

Ch:- When-e'er I think of her so dear,
I feel as if she still were here;
A voice comes floating on the air,
Reminding of mother's prayer.

I never can forget the voice;
That always made my heart rejoice;
Tho' I have wander'd God knows where,
Still I remember mother's prayer.

Tho'years have gone, I cant forget,
Those words of love, I hear them yet;
I see her by the old arm-chair,
My mother dear, in humble prayer.

I never can forget the hour,
I felt the saviour's cleansing power;
My sin and guilt were cancell'd there;
T was there He answere'd mother's prayer.

Ch:- O praise the Lord for saving grace!
We'will meet up yonder, face to face,
The home above together share,
In answer to my mother's prayer.

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Listening him sing live was better than Lyric itself. Anyway, I decided to share with you all this song on Mother's Day.

On retiring.

I have always looked towards retirement with great expectation. Retirement to me is finding time and resource to do such work which will help me actualise desires of my life without expecting back money or honour. It is a freedom from our necessity to work for living, for food, cloth and shelter. It is ability to devote my time and energy in works that has been closest to my heart. It means working and spending my time for sake of love for the work, for sake of happiness and contentedness from the realisation that I am part of that creation which is free from compulsion of finishing a job. Instead I am bonded to desire for finishing the job because of love for finishing that job. Thus retirement to me is not getting freedom from work, but entering that sphere of life where I can devote to such work where I can give hundred percent of my time and energy.

While I was in Afghanistan, my boss retired. I drafted a letter on occasion of his retirement, but failed to send it because I had second thought about its appropriateness. I am reproducing it now, and if he happens to see this, let me tell you this is straight from heart. Comments are welcome on the appropriateness of the letter.


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Dated :- 29.11.2006
Place :- Zaranj, Afghanistan.


Dear Sir,

As you embrace your new phase of life, that leisurely phase of your long and active life, a period of life that you can control its pace, decide its texture and fill it with whatever colour you wish to fill it with, I wish you all the happiness and contentment that life can bestow.

We as a human have a finite life, but the joy and happiness that life gives is infinite. It is not only the number of years that counts, but what counts more is how much love, joy and happiness one derives along the path of his life.

More than what you have done and achieved, is how and why you have done that defines one’s contentment.

May you live your life with contented heart, tranquil mind and still soul. May you find happiness and joy in each day of of your retired life.


Your’s Sincerely,
Dani Salu.

When everything seems to fall apart .......

When everything about life seems to fall apart and every plan seems to go wrong, stay put and hold your head, high and clear, and look for that silver lining which flickers just beyond that fading horizon. You shall find it inevitably, and, unfailingly hope shall become reality. Whenever everything in life seems to go wrong and the whole universe seems to be conspiring against me, I calm myself with above words.
When you, yourself seems to be falling in a bottomless pit, when the last breath seems to have gone out and the last of the muscle seems to have given way to the pains, hold on for few more minutes, and then few more minutes, and then for few more minutes, there you shall reach the finishing line as a winner, there you shall win the ball from your opponent. On the occasions when I participated in a long race and was faltering near the end ,or was in a football game, dribling across the enemy line, I used to motivate my waning stamina and tired spirit with above words.
By Lord's blessing, my life has been sailing smoothly and gently for sometime and I have long given up running races and being a aggresive soccer player. Tell you, in my younger days I was a passionate soccer player and for me, fair play was not a better part of my valour in the game. I used to rough up and be roughed up tackeld and be tackled, life was a passionate love affair and everything seemed fair and enjoyed the melee to the hilt. Youth was so intoxicating and I drank it with both hands. Football was best way I could unleash my untamed youthfull energy. By God, my life was football, football and football.
Times have elapsed and age has mellowed my wild spirit. Along the life, without realising when I changed the lane, I find myself walking in a safer and more gentle side of life's path. I find myself looking at better and pleasenter sides of my life and picking up bright things and overlooking darker things . I find myself, humming a song of happiness and fulfillment as I stroll along the life of passion.

But was my life destined to be a never ending saga of pleasentries and smooth sailing? It seemed so till I ...... !!! How so ???

Well, I had a well laid out plan for my life and family when I boarded a Deccan Airline for my home from New Delhi on 14.06.2008. I was heading home to bring my family from Ziro, Arunachal Pradesh to New Delhi. Life seemed bright and promising and future looked like a long and straight highway, smooth and green. I could almost feel myself cruising along the highway of my life gently and pleasently. After all, I had laid out my plans perfect to the last end. I had come back from Afghanistan in the end of November'07 and joined my new place of posting at New Delhi. By April end, I had managed to get accomodation at one of the poshest and best location in Delhi. I also had managed to furnish it by May end. By the first week of June, I had confirmed from my head office that I will not be moved from New Delhi in near future. There are two very well reputed schools within the sight of my house. I spoke to the school authorities about the admission and they assured me of admission for my children. Everything was tied up and here I was on my way to bring my family members. We were going to stay together after almost three years of separation. Icing on the cake for my onward journey was the fact that I was going to meet one of my childhood friends at Guwahaty and from there we would be travelling together to our hometown.
Ominous signals of my misfortune started casting its shadow after I landed at Guwahaty. I went to call on two of my seniors at Guwahaty. To my ill luck, both of them were not present when I visited their homes. There was a miscommunication between my friend and myself, had a few hot words by mobile, did not meet each other and boarded separate buses for Itanagar even without seeing each other till fate brought us together next morning near a huge land slide. This was one of those regular occasions when very close friends have a angry tiff off with a assured knowledge that before dust settles down from the present row, things would have been forgotten and kidding each other will start.As we were moving out of city, we found serpentine line of vehicles stuck in some goddamned traffic jamm. After waiting for two hours, at around 11 pm, we took a detour and headed for Itanagar via alternate route. On reaching Karsingsha, which is around 20km short of Itanagar, bus stopped as there was huge landslide. There I found my friend stuck too. First of my long walk to home started. We walked around 5 km and got picked up from Nirjuli in a Maruti car. Oblivious to us, Itanagar was cut off from rest of India due to torrential rain fall for last one day. Neither did coming days looked promising. Rain and land slide had claimed 18 lives the previous day. Our spirits were further dampened when the news of massive land slides on the Ziro- Itanagar road was broken to us. The news was that, Ziro, my home town, where my family stays would remain cut off for more than two months. We remained stuck up at Itanagar for four days and on 19th June we decided to trekk down to our beloved hometown. As per my original plan, we were to leave Ziro on 19th June for Itanagar. Instead, I was walking through the broken paths to reach my family. We walked for around 36kms i.e from Midpu to Potin through the rain and mud. A Tata Sumo was sent from Ziro to pick us up. To our great relief we found it waiting for us as we clibmed over last of the short cuts with60 degree inclination.. By the time I reached Potin, my knee hurt me so much that, I was unable to bend it and lift my legs. With great difficulty, I hobbled up the vehicle. On reaching Ziro, I tried to get down at market place, but my legs couldnot support me and I almost fell flat on my botts. Driver and a friend lifted me up and put me in vehicle again. My spirit was high and I was my cherubic self, but my knees were not listening to me. I was unable to stand on my own. On reaching home, I was literally carried upstairs.
For five days I didnot go anywhere and remained confined to bedroom and drawing room. And during these five days, I kept contemplating on the matters concerning people of Ziro and their helplessnes on the face of such natural calamities. Costs of essential items had skyrocketted, there was fuel scarcity and auto rickshaws and public transports had stopped plying, unable to feed, many schools had vacated their hostels and sent their students home. Many more couldnot afford fuel for their school buses and closed down their schools. Sick couldnot go for treatment at other places, students missed their tryst with admission dates and men and women looking for job missed out on their interview dates. Such was the chaos thrown up on everyday life of ziroians.
My best laid plans also had gone kaput.I came back to Itanagar on25th aongwith my family through a very trying and treacherous road.

On reaching New Delhi on 30th June'08, I came to know that I had been posted to some other office. This was the ultimate sour part of my well laid plan. I was looking at the prospect of hunting for new house and school for my children at yet unknown location. One single factor which prompted me to bring my family to New Delhi was the fact that I had a comfortable accomodation a in a very good location with all the amenities within a short reach.The very thing was snatched from under my feet while I was sharing the dream with my family. It was a great shock. Yup. Initially bumbfounded. Wasnt expecting such a turn of events.
However, I wasnt giving up my good life, and my good life was in my mind and not in the material surrounding. I got my children admitted in school and they are a bunch(two boys and a girl) of a happy going school children as of now. I am looking forward to new posting and take the life by its horn. One may change my material surrounding, but till I have my spirit to live burning, nothing can prevent me from living and enjoying life. Every single day, every single minute is a moment of celebration for being a conscious part of this beautiful universe.

The better half.

When a person is in trouble, and the problems in life seems unsurmountable, one should get married,............. ...................... .................... troubles will become more benign because all other problems becomes smaller ...compared with marital so and so. This was a sunday testimony from a youngman who was to get married on Monday i.e today. It brought a peal of laughter instantly. followed by a moment of silence on introspection.
When I was driving back from church in my caribbean blue colour alto, the words of that young man rankled in my mind, and I started reflecting on various marital advise I was offered.
Of particular interest was the advise given by the then Chief Secretary of Haryana, who had come as a senior guest lecturer and to interact with probationers who had just joined civil service. What he had to say was, "Young men, always keep in mind, marriage management is as difficult and important as your career management. Give equal time and importance to marriage and carrier." It was a sagely advise, and my appreciation for it grows as I grow older in my marriage and career. The trick is to balance between being a loving and caring spouse and not getting taken for granted.

Another aphorism on marriage I came across was, when I met a senior, who had just got married. On being congratulated he expressed that there wasnt much to celebrate and followed up with the quip " Khao to bhi Pachtao, nahin khao bhi to pachtao. Main ne khake hi pachtane ka faisla kiya." Loosely translated, it means that marriage is something which you repent when you do it, and also repent when you dont do. This doesnt sound very optimistic. Nevertheless marriage is not a continuous saga of bed of roses of those suhag raats, it has its roses and fragrances, but it also has its thorns and stenches. Marriage, like a plant needs continuous tending and caring,occasional dose of fertilizers and prunning are needed to keep marriage thriving and blissful.

But the particular incident which brings forth spontaneous mirth to my face, is of a incident with a very close friend of mine back at Ziro. We are three friends, who always seems to be looking for peace of mind everywhere and calling for ceasefire with our spouses after having wrongly( from other half's point of view) stepped on their toes. One particular incident which made one of us really go red with embarassment and a feeling of emptiness when our ego is pricked like that of air out of balloon, happened this way.
It was one of those moments when everything in marriage seems to go wrong, and the better half is in full battle gear ready to defend her sphere of influence within the marital kingdom, and any overtures for ceasefire seems to bounce back with increased intensity of hostility. Every attempt on the part of husband to bring some peace seems to be adding fuel to the fire. Man, he was in his most desperate momemts. Then like a streak of light beyond the dark cloud, wife speaks to him in the most gentle words. " ............ from whatever is happening in our marriage, I have come of the opinion that I must get married to you even in our next birth." My friends faced suddenly became brighter with anticipated pride , chest instantaneously expanded with ego being pumped up. Atleast, he thought so. ....... In the same tone, wife continued, " ... next birth .. yes, next birth, when we are married, I will be husband and you shall be my wife. I shall come with same attitude as you have of me now. Only then shall we appreciate each others travail." With this simple word , whatever pride my friend had built up in his own right throughout the life went out with a puff, like a wind out of balloon.

This is a true incident which has happened within a very close circle of friends. For modesty's sake, I shall refrain from taking his name.

Marriage needs empathy more than sympathy. Learning to look at things from other half's perspective certainly helps in appreciating each other, by accepting each other's differences. We are individuals with our own sense of biases and opinions, characters imbibed through our environment and family and also by our genetical make up. Each of us needs sufficient personal space to maneouvre our emotions and moods, our aspirations and desires, our hopes and despair. Very often than not, we fail to look at things from our spouse's perspective, and also from accepting the fact that there is a difference of perspective and it is better to respect each others perspective rather than prevail our opinion on our hapless otherhalf.
These are little thoughts about marriage, which I felt might help us to have a healthier marriage life. By no stretct of imagination, I can vouch I have perfect marriage. Far far far from it. But knowing the facts about marriage, helps me untanlge occasional misunderstading that crops up in our marriage, it helps see the thorns and ditches, and to be prepared for eventuality if it cannot be avoided.
Like death, marriage is made made in heaven. No one knows when where and how it will happen till it happens. But how we live our marriage is in our hand and attitude.

Caribbean Blue

Ever since I descended in New Delhi last November, I have been planning to acquire a motor car for my family and self. Motor car, indeed motor car, that is what I wanted. My one point criteria for selecting a car was value for money. I wanted maximum provision with minimum expense. After consulting lots of friends and so called auto experts, I convinced my self to go for Maruti 800. Nothing is cheaper than Rs189000/- car. All along, friends and alikes protested against my choice.... reason given...it is too ordinary. Frankly speaking, status and looks are very tempting, and I am too human not to be guided by them. Many a decision have gone awry, just because I acted with a single motive of keeping my ego and trying to meet everyones expectation. Often than not, my life is based on my perception of what others wanted of me, and on how I wished to please. Very often, I end up letting my perception of others expectation of me lead me rather than leading a life that was within me, which was yearning to be given a chance for leading owns life.
Now, once again I was torn between please all attitude and my vision of running family of of six and a parent back home with a take home pay of just Rs15000 in Delhi. My economic compulsion weighed heavily over my self inflated ego. In moments of absolute peace and stillness, I patted myself for deciding according to my rationality, rather than my emotion. But was it to be?
Last week, my departmental sanctioned a car loan of Rs144000/- and this, somewhat started blurring my vision of rationality. When I called my wife one evening and told her about my decission to go ahead with Maruti, she very gently expressed that Maruti 800, though good, was too run down, and referred how we have been driving one for near about last one decade. She opined we might consider Maruti Alto, which will give atleast a feel of channge.
Man, nothing touches a husbands ego than a wife daring in such innocuous manner. I was moved, but my prospect of living on Rs15000/- per month with a relatively large family kept me bound to my economic necessity. Well, I was still decided on going ahead with my old 800.
Last week I paid a visit to Rana Motors near Bikaji Cama place and started flipping through brochures. Salesman was at his politest way, my eyes were feasting on many cars that were displayed. While going through Alto's brochure a word 'CARIBBEAN BLUE' caught my eye. Man, consider me whatever you wish, but I had never heard of this colour and I fell in love with this colour instantly. My mind gave way to my heart without any tinge of remorse and I immediately expressed my desire to own a 'CARIBBEAN BLUE'. Salesman asked me whether I wanted to test drive or look at one that was in their garage. I didnt feel the need to have a look, I simply liked it from the brochure. Love was love and there was no place for condition . And to be in love at first sight was simply exhilarating. The cost worked out to be Rs2,89,700/- i.e after taking into account all the rebates. This was well above my budget, but desire is desire and nothing stands between my desire and my objective. Throwing all my well calculated arithmatic of economics to wind, I fished out last of my penny from my savings and ordered for my beloved 'Caribbean Blue Colour Alto'.
Today turned out to be my lucky day, a day I was looking forward for my Caribbean Blue Colour Car. I went to take delivery of my beloved car and tell you all! it didnot disappoint me.
The colour is simply cool. And I have kept it tenderly locked up in my garage as if a young lover would put his arm around his beloved for the first time.
This is the short and long of how I ended up owning a 'Caribbean Blue Colour Alto' today.

Life is a swan song

Life comes in many hues and colours and paints us with the hand that charts our destiny. It is in continuous process of evolution in incremental ways. At times it is part of me and at times it remains away from me. When it is within me, then it is in singular entity, and when it is out side of me it exists in plurality. When the duality of self is in possesion, then one can use the moment to introspect and self examination. What one's life was, what one's life is and what one's life ought to be is contempleted upon. In this moment of quiteness, one sees his life in its true colour, its contours and shapes are visible in a detached way. This is the moment when one is closest to identify himself with who he really is, a moment when one is at peace with himself and can smile at himself.
Having put my foot into mid life, I am starting to appreciate life like never before. Past four decade has been a beautiful song with its varied frequincies and tones. In celebration of wonderfull life I have lived, I dedicate this blogg to everything that life has to give me.

NB:- RM, thanks for prodding me.